The Price of Love (Boyxboy)

6

alex p.o.v.

I had slept restlessly the night before and I was growing tired of holing myself up in my office, working on files that didn't need to be done until next Friday. I sighed and ran my hands through my hair, pushing it up and replacing semi-neatness with total unruliness.

It was all Dean's fault.

If he hadn't kissed me on the forehead last night, I wouldn't be such a mess. I'd probably be sitting on the couch watching Supernatural with him again. I couldn't bring myself to kick him out - I had promised to give him a week after all.

I sighed again. I knew I had to come out of my office at some point, but I couldn't bring myself to open the door. Not when I was this confused. I almost hit myself in the head.

I wasn't confused.

I wasn't gay.

I was completely straight!

There was no way that I could be attracted to men.

My scar pulsed just thinking about it.

I sighed for the third time and stood up. I looked in the mirror on the wall by the door and fixed my hair. I rubbed my stubble and almost pulled on a shirt, then decided against it. I shouldn't be uncomfortable with him seeing my bare chest. He was the gay one, not me.

I wasn't gay.

I braced myself and slowly turned the doorknob, pulling the door open. I sighed with relief. Dean was nowhere to be seen. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a package of Ramen out of the cupboard. Old habits die hard I guess.

After heating the water and plopping the block of noodles in, I sat down at the bar and put my head in my hands, waiting for my lunch to finish. I heard soft footsteps behind me and I tried not to stiffen. I felt Dean hesitate by my elbow for a second before he sat down in the chair next to me with a squeak. I erased all emotions off my face, and looked up at him.

"Hey," I grinned. He smiled nervously. Why was he nervous? He didn't know I had been awake, did he?

"Hi," he said. I thought I saw light pink tinge his cheeks for a second. Then I glanced back and it was gone.

"I'm making lunch. You like Ramen?" I asked him. He nodded eagerly just as the timer went off. "Good."

I split up the noodles, half and half, and poured them into bowls. I passed one to him and kept the other one for myself. We sat and slurped for a while before Dean turned to me. I dropped my spork into the bowl and looked over at him.

"I have to go out for a little bit tonight and take care of some things," he told me. His gaze shifted around the room to anywhere but my eyes. They settled on a spot that was just over my shoulder. I blinked slowly.

"Okay..." I trailed off. He looked back at me.

"Just wanted to let you know," he said quietly. He grabbed his bowl and dumped it in the sink, then practically ran out of the room. I didn't follow him.

Instead, I picked up my bowl and carried it over to the sink too. I put it down and filled it with water. Then I scrubbed both bowls out as well as the pot I used to make Ramen. After putting everything in the dishwasher, I walked calmly back into my office and shut the door.

Once I was safely inside my office, I grabbed a glass figurine that Tulley had given me and threw it to the floor, reducing it to millions of shattered fragments that spread across the office floor. I almost screamed, but then remembered that Dean could hear me. I clenched my hands into fists until my nails broke the skin on my palms, leaving crescent shaped tears in the skin that pooled slowly with blood.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

I am not gay.

I am not gay.

I AM NOT GAY!

I repeated the four words in my head over and over in my head, trying to make myself believe them. I dropped to my knees, probably cutting myself in the process, but I didn't care. I drew my phone out of my pocket and unlocked it. I tapped the phone icon and quickly dialed her number.

"Camille? Hey. Can you come over? What time? Hold on a sec." I stood up and opened the door, walking into Dean's room. He was laying on his bed, legs spread, with his laptop on his thighs.

"Dean? What time are you leaving?" I asked, covering the reciever with my free hand.

"Um..." He checked his watch. "Half an hour?"

"Great." I walked out of the room without another word. "Half an hour? See you then."

I hung up, and returned my phone to my pocket. My heart slowed down, and I smiled. Camille could help me sort things out the easy way. I walked back into my office and sighed, grabbing a dustpan and broom. I should clean up my mess before she got here. I didn't want anyone else getting hurt.

dean p.o.v.

I frowned at the half-open door that Alex had just walked out of. Who was he talking to? And more importantly, why was he telling them to come over when I would be gone?

I sighed and ruffled my hair, then decided I should probably get dressed before going to meet with Miles. I rummaged around in my closet and pulled out a regular tee and some old jeans. I pulled them on and slipped on some Vans.

I didn't really have anything to do in the apartment before going to meet with Miles, so I decided to get out before the apartment suffocated me.

I couldn't figure out why I was feeling guilty about kissing Alex last night. It had been dragging me down all night, and today I had felt useless. I had practically destroyed any chances of getting Alex to like me by himself when I had put my lips on his forehead.

He was acting different around me...cautious almost. It was like he was afraid I was going to jump him.

"Excuse me, but are you riding down?" A rude voice asked me, interrupting my train of thought. I looked up and suddenly realized I was standing in front of the elevator. An old woman was holding the door open for me, looking irritated. I nodded my head and stepped inside the elevator, and she let the doors slide closed.

"Sorry," I apologized sheepishly to her. She crossed her arms and let out a "Humph."

I stopped trying to be friendly. The rest of the ride down was quiet, broken only when the old lady reached into her bag and unwrapped an unnaturally loud butterscotch. I tried not to vomit when she started sucking on it loudly.

As soon as the doors slid open, I stepped quickly out of the elevator and half-jogged through the lobby. When I finally got outside, I heaved a sigh of relief. I turned right and walked in the direction of the street that Miles and I had decided to meet on. Suddenly, a man came up and laced his fingers through mine. He turned to me, a smile on his face.

"Keep walking, don't look around," he said, not changing his expression. I blinked at him.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"I'm an employee of your client's," the man stated cheerfully. Confusion grew on my face. I had always assumed that Miles was employing me, not the other way around. I shrugged and faced the guy who was holding my hand, smiling back at him. It had been a nice gesture to send someone to pick me up - even though I knew where I was going.

I walked casually along with the man, not paying much attention to where we were. When I finally started to actually look at where we were going, I looked nervously over at the man holding my hand. We were in the wrong place.

"Where are we?" I asked, trying not to let my nervousness show on my face.

He simply smiled back at me. I tried not to shiver. It was almost dark by now. The street we were on was dimly lit by flickering streetlamps and the last glow from the sun. I had a bad feeling about this.

The man was practically dragging me along now, and I noticed we were getting closer and closer to a looming building. I didn't even try to hide my shiver this time. He pulled me to the front of the building, glanced around, then tugged me inside.

I felt a rag press against my nose and I tried not to inhale, but it was futile. I felt my eyes slide closed, sending me into total oblivion.