The Price of Love (Boyxboy)

21

dean p.o.v.

I only had to wait a few minutes before there was a knock on the door. I opened the door to reveal Matt who was wearing a worried look on his face. He rushed right in, sitting down on the couch. I followed him a little more slowly.

"What happened?" He asked quickly. I tried to smile a little, but it quickly dropped.

"I...I don't know. He woke up while we were talking, and heard me tell you I wasn't going to tell him he kissed me, and then he made me explain all of last night to him, then he started sputtering about how it was wrong and gross and then I kissed him to shut him up, and he didn't kiss back, so I knew that he didn't mean any of it so I tried to walk away, but then he grabbed me and pulled me back and I got mad at him again and told him to stop teasing me and then he kissed me and then I told him he was hurting me because he was grabbing my wrists really tightly and then he got this really scared look on his face and I asked him what was wrong and he said that what we did was wrong and I just got really confused because if it was so wrong, why did he kiss me twice? Then he ran out and I...I just..." my voice broke and tears spilled out of my eyes.

Matt wrapped his arms comfortingly around me. "Hey...shh...it's okay Dean. Look, he probably either has commitment issues or there's something he hasn't told you about that's holding him back. He'll cool down and come back. Just remember why you're here."

I stared at him in disbelief. I had told him this morning when I went to meet with him for coffee about the whole Miles thing. I didn't know why I had told him - part of me just felt like I could trust him, and the other part of me felt like I owed him an explanation. But now, I just felt confused.

"I...I don't know if that's why I'm here anymore Matt," I confessed. His expression slowly changed from worried to surprised.

"What are you talking about Dean?" He asked.

I didn't answer for a moment. I took a deep breath before saying, "Matt, I was hired to make Alex fall in love with me. But I think the reverse happened."

Matt didn't say anything for a while. I think he was just trying to comprehend what I had said. Hell, I was trying to figure it out myself.

"Are you sure?" Matt asked after a while, his voice soft. I thought about his question. Did I really like Alex? Yes. At least, I thought so. He was there for me whenever I needed help, especially if I was having nightmares. Any time he was next to me, I knew I was safe. He was funny, but also sweet. He was gentle and caring, and I knew that there was something he wasn't telling me, but I was willing to wait until he was ready to tell me.

If he even felt the same.

He had claimed that he was telling the truth, but why did he back away so quickly? Was it something I had said? The only thing I said after he had kissed me was...was that he was hurting me. My eyes widened suddenly, putting the pieces together. The scar he kept rubbing every time I mentioned something gay related, the drinking, his uncomfortable silence when I mentioned anything that had to do with parents.

I had to find Alex.

"Dean?" Matt asked, breaking my train of thought. I looked up at him, realizing he was still waiting for an answer.

"Yeah Matt, I'm sure. Look, I have to go, I just realized something. You can...hang out here I guess?" I offered, but he shook his head.

"It's fine. I...I'm glad you figured this out," he said. He didn't quite meet my eyes at the last part, but I was too busy thinking about where Alex might have gone to care.

"Mhm," I replied. I stood up and opened the door for Matt, who walked out without meeting my eyes.

"Bye Dean," he said softly, and walked away quickly. I closed the door and jogged to the valet desk where Carlos stood, accepting the keys from a couple. I walked quickly over to him.