They only do it for attention
You really believe we do this for the attention of who?
Our peers who don't notice us?
Our parents who don't even remember our birthdays?
Perhaps our siblings who tell us to stop being so dramatic?
If it's for attention, why do we cover them up?
Why do we smile and laugh all day?
Why do we say it was the cat?
Its not for you, or anyone but ourselves.
Everyone who does it is emo
Then why is the popular girl crying all night and cutting so deep into her thighs that the scars will never heal?
Why is that boy who gets straight A's with the kakis and sweaters dripping tears into his freshly slit wrists?
Why is your girlfriend hating herself for not being enough and cutting into her stomach because you have so many female friends that you don't notice her anymore?
Why is your tough boyfriend cutting over old wounds to see them bleed again?
I'm not emo. I'm your average girl with cut marks on my thighs because pressure and anxiety and depression and insomnia are too much to handle alone.
How could that make you feel better?
Truthfully? It doesn't. It just helps us feel something when we are hollow and empty and alone.
It's not that hard to just stop
Yes It is. Because we can try to stop or full the empty space with something more constructive but once we hear that one phrase or word, we're triggered back into the cycle of self hate.
But listen darling, I've been through some rough shit. I am 100 days clean. The wounds have closed and scarred over now. It's ok to think about them, but you don't have to press that filthy blade to your skin. Talk to anyone you trust. And if you're that popular kid, or the straight A bud and don't want to risk your rep, message me. I'll talk to you. As long as you want. Hours, weeks, months. I'm here because I understand and I've been there. I'm still there.
YOU ARE READING
empty nights
Poesíathis is what's really happening behind your bedroom door, what you feel but can't express without being seen as strange. don't worry, cause darlin I'm a mess too.
