More Lies, More Cameras and Much More Action

Chapter 17

Maddy POV

As I woke up to the sound of my 7am alarm, I felt tired, still completely broken and just utterly grim. Naturally, I was very jet lagged and was running on almost no sleep as a result of my breakdown the previous night.

I forced myself out of bed knowing that today I had to do what I came here for and write the goddamn article. This is my future career on the line, a job I know I'd love in an office I've already settled so well into.

I still couldn't comprehend how cruel this was, me having to come back here and face my demons just to progress in life. Sometimes I wonder if there's someone behind the scenes, controlling my existence like a puppet master and forcing me to endure these sort of situations. I vowed myself never to believe in fate, empowering myself to believe that my life is in my own control, but there have been too many instances where there's no option but to blame fate. The evidence for it is too strong.

Joe's apartment wasn't too far away, just a simple tube journey according to the map on my phone. However, the magazine had set aside taxi money that I might as well take advantage of. 

I spent even longer doing my hair and makeup than usual this morning, wanting to look perfect for when I saw him again. I want him to beg for me back, the general discussions of how I've been away too long are exhausting and over analysing them are painful. I need proper proof that he still loves me.

I took a deep breath in before I knocked on the front door of the door with the same number I'd been given by Joe. It was just before 9am, I wasn't sure if he'd even be awake yet - we didn't agree a time.

I swallowed deeply and formed my hand into a fist, knocking lightly and then realising how light it really was so knocking again, much harder. I looked down at my feet, shifting my weight between them as I waited in anticipation for someone to answer.

It felt like hours had gone by, but in reality, it must have only been a few seconds. However, there was still no answer. I was undecided on whether to knock again or turn around and run away, catch a flight back home and write the article on my own. I mean, I lived with him for months, I know his daily routine!

Just as I turned away and went to walk off, the door swung open and I heard an excited gasp.

'Maddy!' Caspar shouted in a goofy voice, obviously excited to see me. 

I turned back around to see Caspar stood in a t-shirt and some Calvin Klein boxers. Without even registering my actions, I was in his arms being engulfed.

'Aw Caspar!' I said, moving even closer into the hug.

'How have you been?! Sorry I left you waiting on the door step, I was having a poo!' Caspar laughed.

'Nice.' I laughed.

'Look at you, you look amazing! I love your hair!' Caspar complimented.

'Thank you!'

'How are you doing?! I can't believe you're back in London!'

'I'm good, all the better for seeing you! Neither can I, it's still so surreal.' I laughed.

'Well, I missed you!' He said as I followed him over to the breakfast bar, taking a seat on one of the stools.

'So, how's everything with Jo-' Caspar began.

'Good morning.' Joe chirped, walking up the stairs, stretching his arms above his head and yawning.

'Sorry to wake you.' I laughed, trying to avoid the creation of an awkward atomsphere. 

'That's alright.' He said, not bluntly but as if he wasn't paying much attention to me.

I began to overanalyse Joe's way of saying 'That's alright' as he walked over to the kitchen area of their open plan living room. It seemed normalish for this situation, like as if we had lived together forever and he just began to block me out. 

'Do you want a drink?' Joe called, pulling me from my thoughts.

'Wha-? Me?'

'Yes, silly. Who else?' He laughed, making me look around and notice Caspar was no longer in the room.

'Oh,' I laughed back, just glad the atmosphere isn't awkward. 'What have you got?'

'Um, tea, coffee, got a little bit of orange juice, gin and tonic.. OH!' Joe gasped excited, causing me to look up at him as he revealed a bottle of chocolate milk from the fridge.

'I completely forgot I had this! Or chocolate milk?' Joe offered.

'As tempting as a G&T sounds, I'll go for some chocolate milk.' I laughed.

'A chocolate milk for the lady in the beige coat coming up!' He announced as he poured milk into 2 glasses.

'You can take that coat off, by the way.' He laughed as he carried my glass over to me.

'Oh yeah, um.' I shrugged it off and dumped it on the floor by my bag.

'You can hang it up if you want? We have hooks by the door?'

'It's okay.' I smiled, suddenly feeling self consicous in my skimpy outfit.

'Slob.' Joe teased, with a smile.

I was glad we were getting along and obviously both making every effort to prevent an awkward environment. Joe was good like that, he knew how to fill the gaps and wasn't afraid to act goofy. You really could feel the strain though, us both holding back so much from spilling anger and desire and love at each other. Tip toeing around trying not to mention any sensitive topics.

'So, what do you want to know?' He asked, smiling at me.

I began asking him a mixture of questions I'd come up with and been given as example starters. These included 'what do you think about living in London', 'what's your opinion on your YouTube success' and 'where do you see yourself in 5 years'.

Joe seemed enthusicatic to answer the questions, chatting away about how he has all his friends in London and his family not too far away. He felt optimistic about the future and already had so much lined up that he couldn't wait to share with his audience, hoping to go from strength to strength.

It was hard to distinguish whether it felt like Joe and I had never been apart or had never met before. I don't know which would be easier, if we'd never had the time apart or were just meeting for the first time now as journalist and celebrity. 

Our relationship couldn't have worked if we didn't have the time alone, that's the conclusion I stumbled towards. I was way too broken and it would have been too selfish for me to fill the cracks with bits of Joe, leaving him broken. He would have eventually had enough, not being able to cope with me and my constant drama or, what felt like, permanant baggage. 

His foot touched mine under the table just as he had finished answering one of the questions. He quickly apologised but suddenly, the room was full of sexual tension.

Too much sexual tension to ignore.

_______________________________________________________

Hahahahah! Sorry for leaving it on a cliffhanger!

The next chapter is going to be this same event but from Joe's perspective!

Will update soon xxx