JUST BREATHE (Rick Grimes Romance)

Chapter 7

It had been a been an extremely hard week of blood sweat and tears but the work had been finished in gardens. New garden planters were made & shades built and put up. Not to mention Julian's idea for the new watering system worked like a dream. Provided we got enough rain our work load would be cut in half. We still had to get water from the river for drinking but not nearly as often. Even the reinforcement work was nearly finished on the wall.

All was good with our group and everyone was breathing a little easier. Even Ricks mood had lightened and there seemed to be a new spring in his step. I had thought a lot about what Daryl had said that day when we were hunting. Rick did have an abundance of stress and pressure on his back at all times. The long and short of it was we all depended on him and expected he should have the answers. He was responsible for our success or our failure. From what I understand it had been like that since he found the original group five years ago just after the outbreak. He had got them through shit they never should have survived. When shit hit the fan Rick had always been the first to stand up and make the hard choices. There was just something about him you couldn't quite put your finger on but you trusted him.

Daryl told me one day that Rick had tried to step down from being the leader once. That the personal cost of loosing Lori and fighting the governor had more than taken it's toll.

We were digging the trench for the watering system and just shooting the shit. "Things weren't good between Rick and Lori for a long time when she died. Unspoken anger...blame and shit. When she died he blamed himself for everything. Her death....Shane's death. He didn't have time to morn her death cause the governor was attacking and we all were depending on him."

Daryl stopped shovelling and looked up at the sun. Looking back down he continued his story. "We all could see he was cracking. Talking to Lori's ghost. Nobody knew what to do so we just looked the other way. It was easier I guess. The more violent and dangerous the governor got....Rick matched him step for step. It was hard to recognize him anymore."

"Even after we brought everyone back from Woodberry to the prison Rick still walked the line of dangerous and crazy. He was trying change. To find himself again. But with even more people, pressure and not knowing where the governor was he couldn't. You could tell he didn't like what he had allowed himself and Carl to become but he didn't know how to stop. That's when Hershel talked to him."

Grabbing his water bottle Daryl took along pull. " We made a joint council so one person wasn't responsible for everything. Took six of us to take on the responsibility we had thrown at Rick. It worked for awhile at least. Until..."

When he stopped talking I looked over at him. I had already heard the heartbreaking story of how Hershel had died. The destruction of the prison and loss of life. How Rick had bit that guys throat out and gutted the other. Everything they endured while trapped at Turmanis.

"Can I ask you something?" When he didn't answer me I took it as a yes. "Your not usually much of a talker. So what's with this?"

Shrugging his shoulder he said "I don't know it must be the heat. Sun stroke or some stupid shit."

There was no question of the grief and loss that Rick had suffered. Even the loss of anyone in the group seem to carve a permanent mark in his armor. I still didn't get Daryl's point to bringing it all up.

Even now as I watched Rick chancing the newly walking Judith around and laughing I only saw a strong confident man. He seemed to have his shit together. I'm sure he had changed but who hadn't.

"Hey Steph there you are." Jillian called out snapping me from my day dream. "You want to go on a water run?"

I smiled walking towards him when Rick with Judith in his arms cut me off.