The Girl

My Story

Hey, guys! First of all, we know, we haven't updated in forever. We're sorry.

Hi,

My story is... not so simple. I'll be straight up... I have anxiety. Serious... anxiety.

My anxiety isn't very noticeable, you wouldn't be able to tell if I didn't tell you. I have lost my appetite, completely, my right leg is constantly tapping, I'm always biting my inner cheek. I know that this might not sound as serious as other cases, I know it isn't, but I'm scared.

I'm also what I would consider being "fat". There's no denial, but I am. To others, I might look overweight, perhaps not, who knows, but whenever I'm in front of that damn mirror, naked, about to jump into the warm shower, I think to myself: I wish I wasn't like this. Legitimately. I relate to all of you girls out there.

Just like almost every other teenager out there, I also have a crush on someone. I like them, I know that they like me, and I'm not blaming them, but I partially have anxiety because of them. I feel... self-conscious around him. He's athletic, smart, cute, funny, everything I could ever ask for, but what I'm asking myself is: Am I good enough?

One of the biggest problems in my life is that... I feel that if I share my feelings with someone else, I will become weaker, more exposed to the virus-like people out there. It kind of sucks, because I find it hard to talk to anyone. My best friend has and is always by my side, but sometimes I feel weird, even talking to her. I love my best friend like I would love my own sister, but I just can't say what my heart is screaming. Ha. Fun.

Although, what I have realised is that what I am doing is wrong. I was talking to my best friend today, and I told her that from tomorrow I would try to eat normally, try to stop biting the inside of my cheek, which I am doing right now, lol. Okay, I've stopped. Haha.

The sole reason of me writing this is not only to let go of all the things that I need to say but also to tell you something. I'm not writing this, my heart is, my fingers are only there to translate my heart's beating into words. Listen up.

You might have anxiety, you might have depression, you might just be feeling low, guess what? It's all going to end. If it's family problems, mental issues, health issues, social issues, whatever, it isn't going to last forever. Family problems can't last forever, no grudge can last forever. Mental issues, they will stick with you for God knows how long, but guess what? You're going to get over it. Health issues? I believe in you, you can get over it. Your friends and family love you, use their love to break through this obstacle. Social issues? We're all your friends, we're all here to listen to you, I don't know you, but I can empathise with you, I know how crazy the human body can be, and it's all going to end.

My tips for getting through hard times:

- Talk to someone. Whether that be online, or a close friend, let the feelings go, don't let them dwell inside of you

- Listen to music. Not only will the lyrics help you calm down, but music is also good for mental health

- Read. Reading has always helped me, just watch how easily you get lost into the fantasy world of your favorite author

- Watch YouTube. Whenever I feel like my heart is going to jump out of my chest, I watch my favorite YouTubers. Watching them rant about funny topics helps me feel lighter

- Express. Whether that be painting, drawing, writing a poem, anyway. Just let it go, this is helpful when you feel uncomfortable talking to someone.

These are some of the things I do, these might not work for you, but you'll find your own way to deal with it. Just try some out.

My life, what's going on in my life, is probably not affecting you in any way, but what's going on in your life is. Get help, do something, climb this barrier, this is life, life likes to through barrels at you, it's up to you what you do with it. Pick up that barrel and make a fort with it. Protect yourself from the haters, but remember to love yourself.

xx

- Anonymous