Timidly

06 | way with words

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I PULL BACK, my lips swollen.

Peering into Costello's eyes, I search for a sign of regret. Anything that will tell me he thought it was a mistake. But all I see is a twinkle, a sureness that I cannot describe.

He clasps my hands in his, lowering his head to kiss them. My whole body tingles, a rush of warmth; a rush of happiness. No boy has ever made me feel like this. Ever.

"It's only been a week, Donna. Imagine all the things that can be done. All the places you can explore. We can explore"

Costello showcases his emotions through voice. The softness of his words, how captivating his tone is. I believe him when he says I can trust him. That I'll be safe. That he will keep me safe. But in the corner of my mind, there is a slither of doubt. The possibility that my heart will be broken, my trust completely crushed.

I try to not let it ruin the moment. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm-

"I'm scared-" I whisper. "I'm scared of everything. Of everyone"

Only Manny knows the truth about my past. About my present. About how it will all effect my future. I've never been one to bend the rules, to disappoint; to say no and go after what I truly want. It's always been that way, since I was a little girl.

"The biggest risk I've ever taken, is coming here. Leaving my mom" I murmur, staring down at my hands, engulfed by Costello's.

"That was brave. You are braver than you think. More beautiful than you believe. I wasn't lying when I said I'd prove to you such thing. Now, it's just more important than before" Costello reaches up and tucks a strand of my dirty blonde hair behind my ear. I feel my cheeks begin to heat up.

"You just have a way with words, huh?"

Costello leans in, his nose almost pressing against my own. I take in every perfect, little feature of his; even though I've already memorised them.

"I sure hope so. I mean, I am getting paid for publishing them"

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"DON'T FRET MANNY, I'm just with Costello. No need to send a search party or anything" I hold my cell in one hand as I update my best friend on everything.

Well not everything. Manny would freak out about me kissing a boy I've known for less than a week. He would say some protective brotherly shit that I try to ignore. In the end, his words still get stuck in my head.

"I'm not worried, Don. You're a big girl. But, please be careful? Because I would hate to have a heart attack in the middle of a coffee shop, surrounded by your friends" Sarcasm rolls off of Manny's tongue.

"You're still in Hopeless Beans? It's been like, three hours" I say, surprised.

"Yup. Turns out Nina loves having another person of the opposite gender to talk to. I swear she doesn't know the definition of the words dark, depressing or despair"

I laugh into the phone. "Nina is a little ray of sunshine, isn't she?" I hear chatter in the background, a mix of voices.

"I gotta go. Karen is recommending a book to me. Something called Lord Of The Kites?"

"Very close, Manny. I'm glad that you're making an effort to get to know these people. Even if we never see them again, I appreciate this more than anything"

We exchange a quick goodbye before the line goes dead. Then, I wander out of the little bathroom, which I had escaped to in order to talk to Manny more privately.

Costello, still seated on the couch, smiles when I come into view. It's only a small one, minus the teeth, but I can tell that for Costello, it means so much.

"If you're not busy, I'd love to show you around London. Will give me a chance to get to know you better, and vice versa"

For you, never busy.

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A LIGHT BREEZE rustles my blouse as I step out of the apartment complex. Thankful to be breathing in fresh air instead of paint fumes and rat poop, I close my eyes and inhale through my nose.

Make this the perfect day...

Costello and I walk side by side down the pavement, a fair distance between us. A backpack is strapped to his back, while I clutch my satchel for balance.

"So, what adventure are you taking me on, Mr Brooding Writer Boy?"

Costello throws me an interesting side glance, shaking his head dramatically.

"So original, Miss Timid Photographer"

I close the gap, looping my arm through his as we approach a roundabout. "Don't make fun. Yours isn't any better!"

Above, the sky is rid of clouds; a landscape canvas, painted a light azure.

"There's this place I go to write. Series Lake. Some of my best work is inspired by the shimmering water, and soft grass. Nina, Dorian and I used to go there as kids-"

Costello suddenly goes silent.

"Whose Dorian?" I ask.

A darkness shadows Costello's features; both sadness and anger showcasing on his pale face. "No one-" He exhales "-so let's get a move on, before it gets dark"

But as we both move through the streets, I begin to consider that I'm not the only one dealing with some shit. That there may be someone else keeping secrets.

Someone like Costello.

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