Timidly

07 | romantic star gazing

—————————

Costello P.O.V

I SHUT DOWN the moment she asks me who he is. I don't mean to, but hearing his name, on her lips, just causes so much frustration to bubble up inside of me.

I hate that it's that way. That every little reminder is painful. But it's not my fault.

What happened; it isn't my fault.

—————————

WE ARRIVE AT Series Lake while it's still light. Costello leads me through a field of weeds and dandelion heads before the rippling water comes into view. I kneel down at the edge, dipping my hand in. It's cold. Really cold, yet refreshing. At the bottom of the river, pebbles are scattered, but no garbage or moss floats on the surface, destroying the aesthetic. Pushing myself up from the damp grass, Costello unzips his backpack and pulls out two towels. He throws a beige one at me.

"What is this for?" I ask, as Costello begins to strip. His clothes drop to the ground in a heap, with only a pair of boxers covering himself up. I stare blankly.

"To dry yourself off afterwards, of course" Then, the boy plunges into the lake. A shimmering view of his body is seen beneath the layer of water. I let out a breath of relief when he surfaces moments later.

"Are you trying to kill yourself? You could have knocked your head, you moron!"

I startle myself with my own booming voice; I've never spoken that loud before. But then again, I can't recall caring for another individuals safety, like just now.

"Stop sounding like such a soccer mom, and get your little ass in here-" Costello bobs up and down. "-because if I have to carry you in, kicking and screaming, I will"

I groan, setting my satchel on a large rock, where it will be dry. Shuffling out of my flip flops, and unbuttoning my pencil skirt and long sleeve lilac blouse, I feel utterly exposed in my lacy black undergarments.

Pushing through the body issues that have controlled my life, and fears of being almost naked, I slide into the water.

"It's not actually too bad" I say, tying my hair up into a loose bun. Costello lets his eyes trail all over me, until they stop and widen at one particular place. My wrist.

"Donna..."

Costello appears in front of me, taking my wrist gently and inspecting it. He traces a finger over the cuts, as if carving them into my skin himself. But I don't wince. I'm too focused on how upset Costello looks.

Too heartbroken that something I did, can have this affect on another person.

"I-I didn't even notice these before. Why, Donna? Why hurt yourself like this?" There's a hitch in his voice; a break of sadness. I lower my head in shame.

"Pressure. Expectations. Self-doubt. Being...weak and unable to adjust to not having my father cheer me on and inspire me anymore"

The past comes back to haunt me. The car accident. The funeral, where I was unable to look at my dad's corpse without breaking down. Meeting Keys, thinking he would be able to take care of my mother and I. The realisation that he is just another monster walking the earth, polluting it.

"You are not weak. Your father, he would be proud of the young woman you've grown up to be. In Heaven, he is cheering you on. Up there, he is the one inspired"

I bite my lip, and with watery eyes, kiss Costello with all the passion and power that lies inside of me. Clutching his face in my hands, I rest my forehead against his.

"Thank you-" I whisper. "-thank you"

—————————

"HOW MANY STARS do you think there are, shining down on us?"

The sun and warmth of day had vanished hours ago, leaving Costello and I with an obsidian blanket as our view, as we both lie on the banks of Series Lake.

Fully dressed, and only slightly damp, I let the long stems of grass engulf my back.

"Not too sure. But I imagine a lot. They have to light up the night sky, across many countries. It's beautiful that we've been given this for free" Costello motions to the stars, bold and bright.

I stretch my arm out and grab my satchel, which miraculously hadn't gotten wet, and pull out my camera. Costello takes a notebook from his backpack, balancing it on his lap. Together, we capture the night sky through a thick lens, and write about the wonders that are astronomy, and the unknown that is darkness.

Together, we spill stories of the past -happy ones, filled with joy. I reminisce about my father's awful jokes, and Costello about his sisters weird talent with blowing bubbles. Together, we laugh, and kiss, and lose ourselves as the hours tick by. Then it's all interrupted by my phone. The screen illuminates my face as I unlock it, peering down at the message that has been sent to me.

I'm worried about you, sweetheart.
Running away from your family, it really frightened Keys and I. Just contact me when you can and we'll talk about everything that's been going on, all right?

- Mom xo

My fingers hover over the words my mother has written and sent. She states that Keys was frightened by my sudden departure, as well as she; that I had run away from what she referred to as my family.

"Is everything okay?" Costello asks, gazing down at my device firmly held in my hands.

I shake my head. "I think Keys has tricked my mom..."

Costello appears confused. "How so?"

I meet the boys gaze, nervous that what I'm about to say may be the truth.

"Into thinking that he's the good guy..."

—————————