The World Isn't Over Yet

(T.W.I.O.Y) 12.

Jayden's POV
I know, before you say anything I know,... I'm dramatic... and I'm all over the place... people say that the end of the world changes people... makes them stone... that's not true... becoming that is a choice... the end actually makes you more emotional and more ... the reason is because you make the choice that you'll be stone... any normal person would... but then when you open up... or show emotion which you're bound to do eventually, you get hit with all of these emotions all at once...  and then when your heart gets broken by someone you love, Sean you feel even worse... there are only some survivors left and you still can't find love... plus you could die at any moment without finding it like half of the people did.. and what if the love doesn't exist... what if it's all made from greed?... no... I know real love when I see it... my parents used to have it when I was a baby... the lost it way before the outbreak. And actually? The outbreak made it better... until I killed him...

I thought as I took my pocket knife and my bad arm...

••WARNING! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS MORE SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND SELF HARM THEN THE OTHER ONES! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ THIS THEN ILL PUT A RECAP IN THE NEXT CHAPTER.••

I popped my knife up in made a slick noise, a noise I've learned to love lately... I put my index finger on the blade to see how sharp it was.. i had sharpened it the last time I had it, before the outbreak but it wasn't used before I left the high school so it was still okay. I pressed it against my skin, and then pushed down on it feeling he skin break as I took a breath of relief... I haven't cut in forever... I cut after I shot dad but Never after that.

As I made the first cut the gentle sting was magical.. the cold late fall air made it even worse and it made me happy... I was sick... I've always been sick.. I made the cut slow as I felt the blood trickle down my wrist... first blood, perfect...

Sometimes I find the high and the adrenaline from slicing my wrist was better then any drug...

I made two then three then four.. and soon I lost count... I didn't stop myself until I heard Dan

"It's time to switch night shifts..."

He sighed..
My head started to spin.. looking down I seen that every cut was deeper then the last my wrist was covered in blood and so was the ground...

"Jayden?..."

he walked in front of me, I stayed silent...

"Jay-... FUCK WHAT DID IU DO?! THEY'RE WAY TOO DEEP!"

He crouched down next to me and took off his shirt wrapping it around my wrist... it was freezing out and he took the only thing he had and used it to save my life... what am I doing with myself...

I broke into tears..

Grace woke up with all the yelling and crying to see a shirtless dan.. she blushed but then walked over to see all the blood and started to tend my wounds.. I screwed up..

What's wrong with me?...

Dan just hugged me as grace continued to help me.

*Time skip*

I laid down as dan sat next to me... no one slept after my little break... I could feel dans disappointment as he stared at me

"What..."

I didn't speak more.. I don't even know what I was saying.. I just wanted to break the silence..."

Jacks POV
Phil mark and I had flashlights, food, and clothes for everyone.. it was late but we had to go.. Now.. I said a short goodbye to signe and off we went... well AFTER mark and Amy sucked face...

We followed a path of what seemed to be fresh walkers, we also took shortcuts, plus we had the car... we sped down certain roads... Phil was texting dan who was secretly texting back... he said they've been taking it slow because Jayden's been smoking a lot of pot... I growled as Phil was reading dans messages out loud.

Dan had said they where going in what seemed to be circled just to get every road to salvage something's... but they didn't find much... Jayden knew they wouldn't find much...

"Sean... I need you to go faster... Jayden is doing damage to herself..."

I slammed on the steering wheel and continued to drive, only i went faster. 

*Time skip brought to you by when grace and i went to see it and she hid in my sweater.*

After about two hours of driving i finally found dan, he was signalling us from the side of the road. When I slammed on the breaks phils head hit the front seat and i smirked a bit... that's what happens when you tell me what to do while im in a bad mood.

The four of us run in on the trail and find Jaydenand grace sitting. Jayden looked p and stood up as mark and I caught her, she struggled and screamed for us to let her go but we didnt listen, phil took her legs to stop her from continuing to kick us. Id say she left a few good bruises on Mark and I. 

While Phil, Mark and i carried her body to the car she started to scream and cry... i guess this was trigggering but that wasnt my fault. We needed her back and we needed her save.. dan and  grace get in the back seat.

"I'm sorry love for what we're about to do but its for your own safety..."

I sighed as i shove a pill down her throat and mark holds it shut so she cant spit it out until i get some water and force her to drink it, then as a safety precaution we put her body in the trunk so she couldn't hurt herself. I felt so fucking bad for everything but this was my fault i needed to fix it... and t was for her own good. After everyone got settled we all got in the car and started our drive back to the high school 

??? POV.

That scream... i know that scream from anywhere...

"Come on... We need to follow that car..."

I said as I started the motorcycle and so did my partner. 

"Maybe they have both the girls you're looking for..."

My partner smiled..,