Poetic Rhythm

Excoriation

I feel the sting of my skin as I pick at tiny imperfections I cannot begin to describe.

You may think they are small wounds, but to me, they are the

Flaws of my person.

My entire being has to be perfect, without a single flaw, but

I cannot achieve this "perfection".

I feel the tears fall from my face as I

Look at myself in the mirror,

A mess with scars all over my body.

They stain my skin like a

Brand on a cow,

Like a slave to a slave master, I am a slave to my own disease,

Chains of self-consciousness and shackles of loathing toward myself

Restrain me.

I feel the stares as people look down at me with

Disgust.

Their whispers fill my ears:

"Is she on drugs?"

"What's wrong with her legs?"

"Why don't you just stop?"

I feel the weight of crippling anxiety, and my chest tightens, the grip of its tentacles wrapping around my trachea

It's like I'm drowning, the Kraken of anxiety dragging me below the surface and I can't breathe.

I'm paralyzed by a fear that begs me to give in to the worst of this world,

To just end this suffering forever.

I feel the gloom of the depression

My doctor diagnosed me with

And gave me pills to take away the gray of this world.

I feel the support from my best friend who I told of my deepest struggle.

She told me,

"It's okay to struggle;

The best of us have things we hide from the outside world."

She recommended me to talk to someone.

I feel the shock that many other people were experiencing the same struggle that I am.

I feel the thoughts of myself

Slip down my cheeks as I

Sob uncontrollably.

The thoughts of self-doubt and hatred

Toward myself overwhelm me,

And I cannot express the amount of love I felt for myself

I had then.

I know I am important, and if it were not so,

I would not live on this earth.

I feel the hope of the future as I make progress on myself,

Putting back the pieces of

My broken image.

I feel the encouragement from my friends who tell me,

"Your scars make you

Beautiful;

You can carry the challenges and

Burdens of this world with the

Spirit of a battle champion.

"You did not lose the war of your own thoughts,

And the scabs you picked

Show the world that

You have faced the hardest battle yet – your own mind."