Why | EXO

Don't Forget

Huang Zitao, my best friend next to Kai, left on August 24, 2015.

-July 1, 2015-

"Tao, you would never leave me, right?"

"Of course not, it's just a break until I heal, okay? Don't worry, I won't leave you alone with those people."

"The people who don't know what personal space is?" Suho threw a pillow at me for saying that, I laughed.

"Yeah, well tell the members I hope they're doing well! I'll text you later, okay?"

"Okay, bye."

What a liar, he often forgets details like this. I was barely recovering from the small cracks in my heart. Lu Han, my king, had tried to contact me but every time I looked at the caller ID, I cried.

"You need to answer him at least once, c'mon get some closure."

"..." I picked up the phone and answered last second.

"Sehun! Thank goodness, I thought you changed your phone number. How are you?" His sweet voice rang through the speakers of my phone.

"Well."

"T-That's it? Well, I heard Call Me Baby, it sounded really nice. You looked very handsome in the video." Thank you, my love. I tried my best to cover my fragmented, hollow organ.

"Thanks, listen I'm really busy. Bye." I hung up without hearing is pure voice say goodbye. I hate crying, but this really hurt. I love you.

-August 1, 2015-

At 5:00 am, the sky was gloomy. Tao texted me the news. It was an extremely long text; however, I read the entire thing.

"Sehun, please don't hate me."

"Sehun, answer me please."

"Fine. Be that way, see you never."

I stood there with the phone on the floor next to me, my breath began to quicken and my heart following suit. The oldest tried to console me but I no longer had the energy left to stop,

"Breathe, take deep breaths, I promise you, we'll be okay." I guess we have to be okay with it. It's in our nature isn't it? Lie to the ones you supposedly would stay with and never leave their side.

"It's nice isn't it, to be lied to countless of times. To love someone who would never love you back." My voice cracked a few times.

"Who did you love?" Baekhyun hugged my arm, leaning all his weight onto me, which I didn't mind at the time.

"The second." He didn't need anymore, no one did. They knew, they were upset, but they were strong. Stronger than me, stronger than I'll ever be.

I pray that people won't forget their promised next time.

-December 2, 2015-

The MAMA second awards' show without Lu Han and Wu Yifan, the first without Huang Zitao.

We won four awards that night, Album of the Year, Best Male Group, Global Fans' Choice Male, and Best Asian Style. It felt good, I smiled genuinely for a bit that night.

I wanted to distant my self and crawl into my bed, but that was impossible. It always is for an idol.

"Let's play Mario Cart when we get home, okay?" Thank you, Kai, for not lying to me. I nodded and looked ahead to the crowd as Suho was speaking to the large crowd full of celebrities and fans.

-That Night-

When I look into the mirror, I see exhaustion, ugliness, heartbreak, sadness; the list goes on forever.

Kris would always flick my head and tell me to be confident in my looks.

Lu Han would always hug me and tell me goofy things to help me feel better.

Tao would yank me to his bed to read some manga, forcing me to distract myself.

Don't forget your promises, and whatever you do, don't you ever forget your love.