Life goes on

Chapter 5 : Total Opposites

She already had something in mind. She focused hard on where to start, what notes and melody. Julia was getting ready for the show, but obviously out of lack of experience she can't decide what she wants. There was this tune that keeps playing on her head, quite vague, not letting her grasp the music that was playing. She felt frustrated and really drained. Ofcourse she wanted to WOW everyone that will be attending the show down, and she wanted someone to buy her music. In the middle of her argument with her self someone opened her door.

"Hey.. am I interrupting?" Becca came in and asked.

"No, I was just trying to figure out what kind of song should I compose. Will you help me?" she said, not pleading but rather confused.

"You look so lost Juls, you should go out. I mean by yourself. From there you can find something that will inspire you. Like when I design clothes, I go to stores and look at the fine clothings that they sell and from there I get inspired." she suggested.

"I think that's a good idea, but kinda lonely don't you think?" she answered.

"You won't feel lonely coz you'll be pre-occupied with ideas running into your head. So get going. Go somewhere nice, some place that makes you feel good and relaxed. That will help you."

Julia stood up from her chair and put on a big smile. "OKAY!" she took her body bag with her, inside was a notebook and a pen.

She went pass Becca, looked back and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Be back at 5pm Juls." Becca ordered.

She smiled again and went off to find inspiration.

---

This can't be.. what's happening with me? What's wrong with me? I shouldn't have done that.

Ryan was so confused with himself. He was walking back and forth inside his room. I didn't ask for this. I don't want this. I don't like it. He kept saying to himself.

"Ryan are you coming?" Lance peeped to his door.

"No, I'm good. But maybe I'll catch up with you guys later." he answered.

Lance looked at him, he seemed to have read whatever was in Ryan's head. "Man, I know it's hard for you. But it's not your fault. I'll go now."

Ryan stopped, he stopped walking back and forth. Surprised by what his friend just told him. Lance really knew him that well. They've been friends since they were little. They live in a small house together, they've been like brothers ever since.

He ran towards the stairs to catch up on Lance. "I think it's happening. I don't know how to control it Lance."

"Think about what I told you Ry, fight it. Don't let it conquer you." Lance firmly said.

Then with just a blink of an eye Lance was gone.

Ryan decided to go look for someone he could talk to, someone that would take each of his words seriously. Since he's been a douche at school no one seems to notice his soft side. He put his jacket on and started walking. He wasn't that far from the forest, he liked being surrounded by trees, makes him feel safe. Safe from everyone and safe from himself.

It was 3:00pm and Ryan was already feeling much better when he heard someone humming which made him feel relaxed. He followed the sound, it was somewhere deep down the forest. He kept on walking when he saw a figure of a girl who looked like was dreaming, her eyes were closed while she held her head up in the sky, while her legs laid extended to the ground. Ryan looked at her with such amazement and at the same time terror, which he can't figure out why.

"Why are you being weird over there?" Ryan shouted to her from where he was standing.

She was was startled, and quickly looked behind her. "Oh it's you. Again. What are you doing here?" she said.

Ryan was shocked to see that it was Julia. "I-I didn't know it was you. I thought it was some random girl who decided to live in the forest." he quickly answered.

Julia noticed Ryan's reaction, he was looking at her like she was a math exam that he can't figure out. "Ryan it's just me, are you okay?"

"I'm gonna go now." he jogged back up.

Julia was now chasing after him, wanting to keep the conversation going. "Why did you hurt my friend?" she asked, now standing in front of him.

"Julia look, I'm not well. She can't be with someone who is not well. That's why I had to end things with Holly. I really liked her." he answered.

Julia felt the sincerity in his words, she was about to say something when he started walking fast.

"Why do you act strange and sometimes like a jerk when I'm around? What did I ever do to you?" she asked, annoyed with him.

"I don't know you that well. I don't have any reason to be not-a-jerk to you." he answered, not even turning around to face her.

"But you gave me compliments when we were at Holly's party." she said, not knowing how to comprehend the situation.

"It's only because you're Holly's friend. I was only acting Julia. I really have to go now."

Ryan ran back up as fast as he good, like avoiding fire from burning him. But clearly, he too can't understand his behaviour around Julia. He can't think of a possible answer that would help them both. 

By the time Julia reached the main road, Ryan was already out of sight. She felt like a retard for even trying to chase him, when he wasn't even nice to her. But she felt that she deserved a proper expalanation as to why she was being treated like that. But no answer helped her.

---

Julia checked for the time, it was already 4:45pm. She ran back home, her feet racing with each step that she takes. Her heart beating fast and she was catching her breath.

By the time she reached home, no one was there. There was a note at the fridge that said I've got a meeting honey, will be back by 10:00pm. She felt relieved and disappointed at the same time. Going outside didn't help her that much, expecially her encounter with Ryan and the fact that he can't stand being around her to have a proper conversation. She felt ugly to think that some guy can't stay for five minutes to even talk to her. 

Then she remembered the party at Holly's, when Ryan followed her at the backyard. Why would he follow me there and talk to me without acting weird or making some lame excuse to get out of my face? Julia was so frustrated with everything that was happening. She tried to forget what happened and rested on her bed.