Old Version Shatter Pieces

Chapter 22: Trust

Elinn

I was in so much pain I could hardly think. Only it wasn't a pain I had ever experienced before. Nothing Master or the men from my past had done could compare to this. I felt as though my heart had been ripped to shreds. I was empty inside and it hurt so much more than any whip or knife ever could.

"I will not allow anyone to ever hurt you again. We are going to make it all better." I had started to believe he was telling the truth. I had begun to trust Carter, but I had been wrong about him. His kind words and nice smile just were all a ploy. He hadn't ever cared for me, he had only kept me here so he could turn me over to Master at his earliest convenience.

I was awake, but I didn't want to open my eyes. If I did that it would all be real, the lies and deceit. I would be dragged back to Master, who would undoubtedly be mad about my departure. I would be trapped again and would never leave. My whole life has been a waste and probably always will be.

What was the point anymore? What exactly was I here for? If it all just stopped, if I made it all stop, would it matter? At least I would be able to be at peace, and that was good enough for me. I would rather die than go back to the life I had been leading. If that was what it took to be free, I was willing to pay the price.

"You are nothing, just a worthless piece of garbage!" He yelled as he hit me. I stayed silent as he hit me over and over again. There was no use in trying to get away. I was use to the pain and he was right after all. I am nothing and always will be.

His words were what had hurt me the most. I think deep down I never forgot what being cared for felt like. I craved it the words of someone who saw me as a living breathing person. So I had let the first person who said something nice to me and flashed me a smile into my head. What a fool I had been for thinking someone could care for me. I was nothing and no one could ever care for something like me.

My eyes opened despite my best intentions. I just stared at the ceiling waiting for someone to walk in and tell me what to do. I had no reason to move from my position on the bed. I was just to wait here until I was instructed to return to my old world. A world that I would leave as quickly as I could.

I lay there for an hour before anything happened. The only noise in my room was the ticking of the clock on the wall. It kept me grounded to here and now, not allowing my thoughts to wander back to my last stay with Master.

When the door swung open I made no move to even look at who had entered. Whoever it was stood in the doorway for a moment before coming to stand next to me. It was the man who had been at Master's dinner party, I was pretty sure his name was Nathan.

"You gave us quite the scare Elinn. We weren't sure you were going to pull through. Carter is still pretty torn up over the whole encounter. He'll be by soon though to check up on you, no need to worry." I didn't look at him as I studied the cracks on the ceiling.

"Will you do me a favor?" I asked without shifting my gaze or listening to hear his response.

"Please just end all of this. If you make me go back to that place, it won't take long for me to go anyways. I would rather that my death wasn't entertainment for one of Master's dinners. Just get it over with and let me leave." My words were hollow and flat.

"Elinn what are you talking about? We aren't taking you anywhere," I laughed as Nathan tried to paint a pretty picture of lies. I wasn't so naive as to think he wouldn't take me back to Master.

"Don't act like you don't know. You were with him that night, one of his guests. You report to him just like everyone else, so do me a favor and kill me right here right now." I finally shifted my eyes so they met his. I couldn't read all the things in his eyes there were too many of them.

"It was a good one though, you really made me believe I was out. Master must have spent some time planning it. It was his best form of torture yet, giving me a taste of what being cared for felt like. I would have liked it if Margene had at least been real. I wanted her to be real so much more than almost anyone else." The words poured out of me as if my mouth were a river. I could no longer contain the flow and I didn't want to. If I was going to die right here I might as well tell the truth.

"I thought that I might finally be free. I might be able to have the thing I had dreamed of for years. I had wished for years that I could see the outside world at least one more time. At least I got to do that." I closed my eyes not wanting to watch as I died.

"Oh Elinn, what did they do to you? What did we do to you to make you this way?" Surprised to hear such emotion from the man who was supposed to kill me I opened my eyes. Nathan's eyes were brimming with tears and he had collapsed into a chair near my bed.

"Elinn, I'm not going to kill you, I couldn't even bring myself to hurt you. I don't work for Alpha Marcus, I was just there to spy on the pack for my alpha. He had heard rumors from other about what was going on in the Shadow Mountain Pack, but he couldn't prove anything. So, I was sent to go down and get the information we needed to prove what was happening." Nathan explained, but I didn't believe him.

"You're lying! I know you're lying, Carter doesn't care. He never cared, that's why he hurt me All anyone ever does is hurt me. He was the one who allowed Luke to do that to me. He made the choice to hurt me. I trusted him and he used me. He hurt me worst of all!

I thought I was safe here, I thought I had finally figured out where I belonged. I was beginning to think I could feel something again. Then he came in and ripped me to shreds. He is the worst person I've ever met. He didn't care that he was killing me inside as he held me to that table. I bet he enjoyed watching me writhe in pain! I HATE HIM!" I was so tired of all the lies, I couldn't take it, so I screamed.

I heard a sob from behind me and I realized I was now standing in front of Nathan. I turned and found Carter on his knees in the doorway. He looked as though his soul had just been shattered on the floor. His face was wet with tears and his eyes were focused on me.

"Elinn, I didn't want to hurt you. You were dying and I couldn't.... I only just found you. I didn't want to lose you. I never meant for.... I'm so sorry. It was the only way we could save you. I would never let that happen to you if I could choose. I would rather die than let you go....so please....don't say you want to die. If you were gone, I wouldn't be able to continue.

I'll leave you alone forever if that's what you want. I would leave forever and never look back.... I would do anything you asked. Just please, don't leave me. You can hate me and I'll let you extract any punishment you see necessary but.... Never say you want to leave me." Carter choked out the words through sobs and tears.

I studied the way the man in front of me. He was so very, vulnerable. He laid all that he had at my feet, hoping it was enough to make me say. He had done all of this to save me. I sank to my knees beside him and he looked up into my eyes.

"I promise that I will never leave you. Can you promise to always be there no matter what happens." His nod was almost imperceptible as I stared straight into his soul.

"I don't have much, only a shattered soul. However, I am willing to give this a try. I will shatter the pieces of my soul around me until maybe I can put them all back together again." As I said it carter pulled me to him so I was sitting on his bent knees.

His eyes bored into mine as though I was a complete and normal person. I felt like he could see all of me, it would take time to see into every shadow and crack, but he would do just that. He took my chin in his hand and pressed his lips to mine.

The kiss was brief and vulnerable and everything I needed. His lips were warm and soft against mine. As we pulled away Carter rested his forehead on mine and whispered quietly.

"I will help you collect all those pieces of your heart so that when you're ready they will be there. Then maybe we can both be whole. I promise to never leave you. For now, until the world falls down around us, you are mine and I will love you."

AN: Guys we have eight thousand views! That is such a crazy thing to think about. I am so happy to have so much support from all of you guys. I love reading your comments they are always so upbeat and fantastic. Great news, MY LAPTOP IS FIXED! Yeah, I should get it back tomorrow so things will be easier for me. Thanks for all you guys do. Let me know what you guys thought of the chapter and I will do my best to reply to what you have to say. Until next time, bye bye!