Ocean's Secret |on hold|

21 | Flecks of Gold

"What about the way
You tell me it's ok
when all around
the world's falling down?"

The words slipped through Meredee's lips, a gentle whisper in the still air. Her voice gathered strength,

"What about the way
You say sunshine follows rain
when all I see
is calamity?"

She pressed her trembling fist to her mouth and stifled a sob. She would not cry. Too many emotions were tumbling through her mind to even cry over a single one, to even process what she was really feeling and express it.

"Don't tell me heartbreak is not
the end of the world
not worth a cry in the night"

A tear slipped down her cheek as she lifted her eyes to the quiet forest around her. Birds twittered in harmony with her plaintive song. Who was even listening? Could Jesus hear her as she sang to Him the ache from her heart?

"Don't tell me heartbreak is not
what You have heard
Oh God, I'm crying tonight"

She lowered her head in her hands, her voice breaking.
The hushed chirping of crickets joined in with the song she'd written ages ago, and though it wasn't actually night time, the words still matched the mood she was in, still reflected the longing and prayer in her heart.

It had been a taxing day, trying to win the verbal and emotional war with Silvana, and finding out even more of her shocking secrets....that Judson was her brother! Had his father really been the one to turn on Silvana and desert them both? Had the loving man Judson fondly remembered really been the low and heartless man to just walk out on them? And not only that, but add insult to injury by destroying everything of Silvana's?
Granted, all Meredee had to go on was Silvana's word, and she kept reminding herself that Silvana wasn't to be trusted. She could be completely lying to get Meredee on her side, to make her sympathetic to her cause, to have her....have her...she wasn't quite sure exactly what Silvana wanted besides revenge on Cyrus for something that happened between them years ago. She was still a mystery, and that was why Meredee had no idea what to think anymore.

"All Your promises
I know they'll be right someday
But it's right now
that I can't see
any hope at all
God, can You hear my call?
Because it's right now
that it's faith I need"

She sang quietly, her lips trembling as she focused her eyes on the jade- and olive-green needles of the pine tree a few feet from her. Specks of dust floated through the sunbeams that reached to the forest floor, and they glowed gold in the afternoon light. Meredee took a deep breath, and released a long sigh, sending the specks spiralling away into the shadows.

Judson still hadn't moved or stirred. She'd been sitting here on the mountainside for more than an hour, and he still hadn't answered her whispered pleas for him to wake up, he hadn't twitched his fingers or jerked when she poked him in the ribs or pinched his leg, anything! He was breathing, thankfully, but still. His tumble down the steep slope would hurt anybody, but someone who'd just been nearly strangled to death by Silvana? She couldn't pray hard enough that he would be alright. He was scaring her, and she'd nearly made up her mind to drag him down the mountain in the hopes of finding a village and some help, but a faint gasp made her heart leap. She snapped her eyes to his just as they slowly struggled to open.

"Mer?" he mumbled, his head falling to the side but she kept it upright with her hand. "Why'd you stop?"

"Judson! Are you ok? Can you hear me?" she looked into his eyes for any signs of serious injury. "How many fingers am I holding up? Can you tell me your name? Where does it hurt?"

"I'm...ok. But why did you stop...singing?"

"Oh!" she sat back in relief, her cheeks tinging pink. "You heard me?"