Behind The Scenes // Domilly

26

I woke up in a hospital bed with my cheeks stained with tears. I had been crying all night and I was surprised I even fell asleep. Times were rough right now. Dom told me the hate was starting to die down, but I was still too scared to touch anything with WiFi.

I even told Dom to call my parents for me because I couldn't do it myself. And Dom wasn't allowed to tell them that I tried to take my own life. I didn't want to do that to them. They would be so hurt, I would never be able to look them in the eyes again.

It was another hospital morning. They checked all the machines to say if I was still doing okay and asked me some questions. Then I talked to a therapist for an hour. Not like we really talked. I didn't want to talk about what I did or why. It would just hurt people around me. Nobody beside me and Dom could know what actually happened. Being ungrateful for being alive felt stupid.

But it wasn't worth it to stay. People hated me, with so much anger. Maybe they were just trolls. But they didn't bother me. It were the slut comments from people that supported me. The disappointment from my big fans. The fanaccounts that gave up their love because I lied. Nobody will trust me again. Dom wont. My fans won't. My friends and family won't.

I'll have nobody.

Dom walked in for his daily visit. 'Hey Lil, did you sleep okay?' I mumbled no in response and waited for him to sit down on my bed and give me that concerned but loving look. His brown eyes were so beautiful and I knew I couldn't look into them if I was going to tell him this.

'Dom...' I said softly. My voice sounded raspy and I hoped I wasn't going to cry. I didn't want to hurt Dom anymore. Never again.

'What?' Dom put his hand on mine and I pulled away. 'I-I think that we... We should break up.' I tried to keep my voice strong and convincing but deep down this is the last thing I wanted. Dom couldn't go. But he had to.

'Lilly-I-What are you talking about?' Dom's voice cracked and I avoided eye contact. 'I-I don't understand.' I could hear the pain in his voice and it was killing me. But this was the best thing to do.

'Dom, I'm just going to keep hurting you.' Tears were dripping down my face and my voice was quiet and shakey. 'You don't hurt me-Lilly I love you so much please...' Dom's eyes were glossy and he wiped a tear out of the corner of his eye. 'Dom, just... Can you go?'

The moment the words left my mouth I regretted them. Please don't leave. Nobody else visited me. I couldn't spend all these days alone in this damn hospital. I had to go home and find a job. I had to leave my YouTube channel behind and move on with my life.

My life in the public was over. Time to become a normal adult again. I couldn't be an inspiration for teenagers when I attempted to take my own life. People shouldn't look up to me. I didn't deserve it.

Dom stayed silent and shifted on my bed. 'I'm not going to leave you here alone Lilly, even if we're not together, I'm not going to leave you in a freaking hospital. If I did that I would be a dick.'

'Please go.'

'I'm not leaving you.'

'Dom, please.'

'Lilly I'm not going to leave you here alone.'

'Dom. Go.'

'Lilly. I. Am. Not. Lea-'

A doctor walked in. 'Hello Dominic. I have good news. You can take her home with you. She had been stable for 60 hours and her therapist believes she will be okay in the end. She isn't okay mentally, but okay enough to go to the bathroom alone. We're going to take off the machines and she'll have to check out at the desk. After that she's free to go until we call you for a check-up.'

The doctor told us some more stuff, but I stopped listening a while ago.

I felt numb as the nurses took the tubes off me and took away the things that checked my heart, lungs and blood pressure. I didn't even know what half of the tubes and stickers did. But somehow they kept me alive the past days.

Dom picked up my bag with stuff that he had brought me and I followed him to his car. We got in and Dom looked me straight in my eyes. 'Lilly, you're not hurting me.'

'I still have to break up with you. I can't do this anymore. Seeing you hurt is too much. I don't want that. Never again.'

'You won't hurt me again.'

'Yes, I will. Have you seen me? I'm a zombie. How am I supposed to be a good girlfriend? I can barely stay alive!' My voice was shaking, just like my hands. 'I'm sorry Dom.'

'Then get out of the car right now,' Dom whispered.

'Dom what do you mean? You have to bring me home.'

'If you stay in this car I know I won't be able to keep myself away from you.'

'Dom...'

'Lilly, if you stay in this car I won't be able to stop myself anymore.'

I looked up in Dom's dark brown eyes. They were glossy and I could see the pain in them.

'Dom, I'm going to hurt you, just drive me home.'

Dom suddenly pulled me towards him and kissed me. I tried to push him away at first, but I couldn't. He unbuckled his seatbelt and pulled himself up, closer towards me.

'I told you I couldn't stop myself.'

What a roller coaster of emotions damn

What did you think of this chapter cuz I honestly have no idea if this was good

I just published the first chapter of my new Domilly fanfic: Teenage love // Domilly! Go read it and leave feedback ♥️