My Life ( Lesbian )

Part 15

" Wow school looks different during evening , doesn't it ?" I asked my friends

"Yeah , indeed it does"

All the lighting on the main ground looked so pretty;
Everything was mesmerizing,
With a little hint winter in the atmosphere.

I literally thought these kids won't be a pain , but little did I know.

They couldn't even stay still on one location. We somehow managed them by giving them extra candies . All what I had in my bag left was, chips; biscuits;soda. These kids really had good  lunch with them. I even had intention to steal one one kids noodles.

I went out for little stroll,and out of nowhere Shreya came into my sight . This time I looked straight into her eyes . She looked back, but it wasn't that strong . It didn't made me skip a heartbeat just like what happened with Shivangi.

"Maybe she isn't the one ?", I questioned  myself .

I went back to the class. All chilled out.

"Do you girls have phone in your bags?" whispered  our concerned class teacher with a worried voice .

All  three of us had phones with us . We were  using them for the entire day. We couldn't deny it .

"Yes, ma'am. We have them", I mumbled.

"Hide them quickly somewhere, checking has been started in other classes"

But before she  could complete her sentence the checking squad was there. They knew we have phones. All three of ours were confiscated.One of my friend started sobbing, one could see guilt in her eyes . Maybe she didn't told her parents about bringing phone to this event.

"Sir, please I'm sorry don't tell my mother about this , I will never bring phone to school" , Siya told teacher with tears flowing down her cheeks .

I was a little confident , I was happy that they didn't take my camera and iPod .

The teacher called our parents and we got out of this bad situation. They even made us write a apology letter as if bringing phone to school as if it was a sin .I have already been caught before for bringing camera , the squad didn't even remember it.

--------------------------------------------------

Next week unit tests were scheduled , unlike earlier I had degraded my maths skills . Half of my nights went into wondering about life.
About 'what I have for my future ?'
'Will I ever have anyone to be true to ?'
'Anyone to fall in love with ? Will I ever find Anyone to grow old with? '
'What will my family think of me?'

Is living further even worth it ?

-
It was the day of general knowledge exam.
On the Exam day ,I was co -incidentally sitting right next to a girl named Arushi.
She was one of those girls with whom I never had straight talk.
Neither of us had any idea about this subject.

Luckily Pragya was sitting just in front of us . We copied enough to pass this exam .

_____________________

My depression was getting on it's saturation level.I felt worse each day. The feeling of drowning but nothing was there,no water so no matter how hard you try you can't swim if there is no water. I was being pulled into a darkness that i never wanted. Every Sunday was spent crying . Knowing the bitter truth that I could never feel anything for a man now .That I am indeed what everyone calls it. A lesbian.  Self acceptance was on its peak. Maybe those romantic movies were to blame . I needed a better half .I needed someone to help me get over this and maybe love me.

------------------------------------
A/n : Thanks guys for all your votes . I'm only updating fast because of you guys . Much love . Please feel free to give suggestions.