The Thief Who Saved My Life

Chapter 19

I needed to talk this through with someone.

But I had no one.

I couldn't tell Talon the worst details of my past. I couldn't risk her looking at me differently if she knew the details.

I could not confide in Tyler my concerns over him seeing a video of me and five other men. What he would think.

Telling my dad was out of the question.

He would be outraged. He would insist on pressing charges.

But that's the thing about blackmail. It works. Because if my dad knew the secrets I told, not realizing the words would be forever captured, he would not be so quick to go to the police.

The only other person would be my dad's pretty, new fiance. The thought of telling her all of this was laughable.

I could call my therapist... Dr. Maggie would be pleased to squeeze me in if I actually wanted to talk. But I didn't think this sort of thing fell in her wheelhouse. She talked to young adults who suffered depression and helped people learn to cope and deal with bad pasts and grief. This was different.

No, I was alone in this.

If I was going, it was time to leave.

I was dressed, makeup on. I didn't go as extreme as I had for Garret's parties in the past, when I was doing everything I could to keep him happy. I forwent the miniskirt for a pair of black skinny jeans and instead of wear a top that fit so tightly and was cut so low that it left little to the imagination I wore a simple cotton crop top. I didn't like it, I wanted to wear a sweater, but I arrived without having put in any effort, he wouldn't like it.

My eyes were coated in several layers of dark liner and my lips were glossed in red. That last part was intentional as I knew from experience that Garret didn't want the sticky, colored gloss staining his mouth. I hoped it would keep him from attempting such a thing.

I stared at my reflection, hating the way I looked. Trying to rectify this me with the girl who stayed up all night playing cards with Tyler. Not knowing which one I really was. Was the time I spent with Talon and feelings growing for Tyler all a lie, an attempt to become something I'm not? Was this mess me?

Sometimes it felt like it.

My eyes stayed locked on the mirror, trying to seeing into my own mind—wondering if I could go through with this, pull it off. Trying to calculate when it would backfire and how I might avoid the worst of it.

My stomach was full of knots, dread like I can't remember ever feeling before.

Well, that was a lie. I had felt dread like this before. I had felt this disgusting, this ashamed of myself once before.

I could take it all off, snuggle into bed and go to sleep reading a good book.

But then Tyler never looks at me the same. Garret would make sure Tyler saw it because I had shown my hand too early and the asshole would go for what he thought would hurt most.

Whatever we may have had, whatever stolen glances and sweet kisses we shared, would fizzle until it's disappeared completely. My father loses his job, all of his bank accounts frozen and then they start to seize property. He maybe ends up in jail. I didn't really know how it would all go down. But it would probably be pretty bad. Julia loses what she thought was her happy ending.

Or I go. I let this happen so that none of that does.

When it came down to it, it wasn't really a choice.