Don't Fight It

Part 9

Blinking against the abrupt darkness - a power outage caused by the storm, Binnie presumed - the two men slowly separated and sat up, facing each other as they could just make out their silhouettes in the now-unlit space.

His brain still scrambled from their intense kiss, Hongbin tried to pull his thoughts together and stuttered, "What just.... Why did you...?" He paused and took a deep breath, shaking his head to clear it, but Hyuk answered the question he was about to ask before he spoke it.

"I like you. No, I love you," the younger man blurted out, then continued in a rush, "I don't know how long it's been but it feels like I've loved you forever and it's been killing me to do nothing about it and just now I couldn't help myself because I felt..." he started stumbling over his words, "and you were....." he trailed off looking down, unable to find the right words, then looked straight up into Hongbin's eyes as he finished, "But I'm not sorry. I don't regret it," sounding like he was daring Hongbin to contradict him.

The older man sat still as a statue, eyes wide but unseeing as he processed Hyuk's astounding revelation. With a monumental shift, the world that had gone off kilter that night in the dim hallway at the club righted itself, and Hongbin took a deep breath as the change settled around him in the dark. His heart leapt ecstatically against his ribs as his brain raced, now seeing all the signs to which he'd been utterly blind or explained away: the looks that lingered a few moments too long; the way Hyuk had always seemed to end up standing, sitting, or laying next to him; the tension in his body when the group had discussed Hongbin's love line in his drama; the horror on his face when he discovered Binnie standing in the hallway that night.

Hongbin had been quiet long enough that his dongsaeng hesitantly prompted, "Hyung?" But even as he said it Binnie was starting to speak. "Then why...?" he began, his voice still rough from shock, "Why did you do that?" They both knew to what he was referring. "I've loved you for a long time, too, but except for my drama I never ki-...anyone else," he still couldn't say aloud what he'd seen that night. "Never even thought of it. So how could you...?"

"I was jealous and angry," Hyuk admitted, looking away in shame and embarrassment. "They were teasing you about the wedding scene and your beautiful costar and it hurt so much, imagining that. I felt like I was going crazy so I did something crazy to try and snap out of it. I knew it was wrong as soon as I started, but I never imagined you'd see or that - Oh god," he gasped in realization and looked up sharply. "It was all my fault. You just said you loved me and you saw what happened that night and you've been so miserable this whole time and it was because of me and I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." The words tumbled out as tears gathered in his eyes and spilled down his cheeks, glinting in the faint moonlight streaming through the paper door, and he had to pause for breath when it hit him, "'You just said you loved me,'" Hyuk repeated his own words in confusion. "You just said you loved me, too!" he repeated once more in excitement before he broke down crying.

Hongbin merely watched him for a moment, faintly amused, then said softly, "Come here," as he opened his arms and pulled Hyuk into an embrace. VIXX's maknae cried for a long time on Hongbin's shoulder, brokenly apologizing over and over as Binnie soothed him, rubbing his back and murmuring reassurances. When the whirlwind of emotions blew itself out, Hongbin gently asked, "Better?" and felt a nod beneath his chin. "Let's leave the past where it belongs, alright? Now that we know, it'll never happen again. We'll start from here, right now, now that you're mine." He tried to say it confidently, and hoped his love couldn't hear the tremor in his voice that betrayed his insecurity.

Hyuk had pulled back slightly to listen better and prevent his words from being muffled, and now whispered, "Yes." He pulled away to look Hongbin in the eyes as he said it again, with more conviction this time, "Yes." He leaned his forehead against Binnie's and they closed their eyes and simply breathed together, taking in the moment as their hearts connected for the first time in the quiet darkness of the room.

And this time it was Hongbin who closed the distance, reaching up a hand to caress Hyuk's face and tilt it so their mouths aligned and he could place a tender kiss there. They kissed for a long time, at first gently and hesitatingly exploring the feel and taste of each other, then becoming bolder and more demanding as the heat between them ignited their desire once again.

"Hyuk-ah," Hongbin said between kisses on every inch of the younger man's face. "My Hyuk," he whispered possessively and felt the other man take a shuddering breath, "you're so beautiful." Binnie found his lips again and claimed them as he slipped a trembling hand beneath Hyuk's shirt, needing the skin-to-skin contact. Binnie heard Hyuk suck in a sharp breath as he kissed Hyuk's neck, felt his love's stomach tremble beneath his hand as he gently traced the planes of his abs then moved up towards his pecs. After a slight hesitation, Hongbin used a thumb to gently graze one of his lover's nipples and was rewarded with a choked cry of pleasure as Hyuk's fingers dug into his hair and shoulder.

Hongbin hummed in satisfaction and was about to demand, "More," when he was momentarily blinded by the lights suddenly coming back on. Blinking at the surprising brightness, they looked at each other, sitting entwined to one side of the room between their abandoned meals, and felt suddenly embarrassed. Hyuk began to chuckle nervously, then Hongbin joined in and soon they'd disentangled and were lying on the floor giggling. He turned on his side and gave Hyuk a quick kiss, then stood, pushed the trays of food to one side, walked over to the sleeping mats, and began unfolding them. Hyuk followed his actions with bright eyes, unabashedly drinking in the sight of his beloved's lithe movements for the first time, and sat up in confusion when the older man put one mat on top of the other, rather than side by side.

With a questioning look, Hyuk began, "Hyung, why...?" but Hongbin silenced him with a heated look that spoke volumes. "Oh..." Hyuk breathed, eyes wide in comprehension, body flushed and trembling in...nervous anticipation, he realized.

"But only if you're ready...if you want to," Binnie said, suddenly, unexpectedly anxious himself. "We did only just..." he trailed off. What could he say to describe their situation, '...find each other? get together? confess our love?' Nothing felt quite right, but he could see that Hyuk knew what he meant so he continued, voice thick with emotion as he struggled to get the words out. "But I...I've dreamed about it - you - for so long, or rather, tried not to, and now that we're...here," he gestured vaguely, meaning both their physical and metaphorical location, and took a deep breath before he said quietly but with conviction, "...I want...you."