foreign affairs (sehun)

one

As someone who considers myself relatively intelligent, I would assume I could have been smarter than this.

But now, I'm staring at my stupid chopsticks, slowly coming to the burning realization that I'm a complete fucking idiot.

"No Ma, like I have no idea what I'm doing." I said into my phone, still struggling to pick up one stupid noodle. "Both with these chopsticks, and with my life."

Mom laughed on the other end of the call. "Honey, you've been getting ready for this for years now. It's what you've always wanted!"

I sighed in exasperation, dropping my stupid chopsticks. I should have known she wouldn't understand. She's always so chipper and eager to make the best in things, but I definitely missed that trait in my own genetics.

"Don't sigh like that. You're ready for this. Tackle your problems one at a time sweetie; first, eat your lunch. I know you're crap with chopsticks; trust me, I tried teaching you for years. Go buy a fork. That'll help. Then, get out a socialize! There's a whole new country right outside your door!"

"Yeah, I know Ma." I sighed, stealing a glance out my window. Seoul really is a stunning city, and my residence has an amazing view. Normally, I would be running around the city by now, but something's holding me back. "It's just weird being so far from home."

"Well, if you ever have any questions, you know you can always call... as long as it's a reasonable hour here at home!" Mom laughed, trying to ease my dreary mood.

Not helping.

"Yeah, okay Ma. I should probably go now anyway, see if I can explore a bit." I said, knowing fully well I was just going to sit inside for the rest of the day and sulk.

"Okay sweetie. I know it's hard right now, but it'll get better, I promise." Mom said, and I could tell she was just as broken up as I am. The slight tremor in her voice gave it away, as it usually tended to whenever she was upset.

I knew that if I gave her any indication that I knew she was upset, she would start crying. I couldn't do that, knowing that if she started crying, I would do the exact same. "Bye, love you!" I said, feigning a smile as though she could see me.

"Love you too sweetie! Call me!" She replied, voice small and tinny through the receiver, before hanging up the phone.

I sighed and tossed my cell onto my bed. Suddenly, I was no longer hungry. I just wanted to cry.

Being an exchange student is difficult, but it certainly helped that I had been to Korea before. My mother was pureblood Korean, and certainly raised me under a typical Korean lifestyle, rather than the Canadian one people had expected me to have. Being raised speaking Korean in the house, eating whai-ku mi fan instead of spaghetti, and already being mixed asian-caucasian, I never felt at home in Canada. That's why I had come here for school; a fresh start, a chance to finally find a lifestyle I could identify with! Sitting alone in my room however, I wasn't achieving my goals. 

I slouched off my bed and opened the door to my room, inviting anyone nearby to come on in. I had read about this online, something about 'appearing open and friendly to new people'. Lord knows I could use some friends. Until then though, I would need to busy myself with unpacking.

Slowly but surely, I began dusting off all the books and random objects that I brought overseas with me, including a hoard of all my textbooks and worksheets. Sorting them into some of the storage areas in the room, I felt my stress slowly be pushed away. Organization and order always seemed to calm me down, everything having a specific place helped my mind relax. Mom used to always bug me over it, but I would be the one laughing when she couldn't find a pencil or --