Tails and Toes • Jikook Mermaid AU

Chapter Fourteen

Please listen to this song. It has a lot of meaning for me and it also fits the story and Jikook perfectly!

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The desire to cry into Jungkook's chest was really strong for Jimin, but he needed to contain himself. It was his fault, he blamed himself. The symptoms had started and he didn't want to let Jungkook know about it. He stayed silent, not only when they left the café, but also the ride home. As soon as they arrived at Jungkook's house, Jimin went upstairs. He threw himself on the bed and screamed in his pillow, so that Jungkook wouldn't hear it. ''Please.'' Jimin whispered to himself. ''I don't want to leave.'' His words were soft and broken, just like his voice. He got up from the bed, opened the window and his eyes immediatly focused on the ocean you could see from the house. ''Please let me stay with him.'' Jimin muttered while he looked at the sea. Then he looked away and walked out of the bedroom. The sea was his home, but now he didn't like it. Jimin never had much in his life and his only wish was to stay with Jungkook on land, it was the only thing he wanted. The mermaid couldn't deal with the fact that he had to go back to the ocean. Because then he had to leave Jungkook. Alone. Jimin started to cough again and it was so bad that he felt his breakfast coming up in his throat. He just had the time to run to the bathroom and the toilet bowl to puke everything out. It hurted, it burned. Jimin knew without looking that not only he lost his breakfast in the toilet bowl, but also some of his blood. But that wasn't possible, it was too fast. Two symptoms a day. If that would happen, how much time did Jimin had left before he couldn't even feel his legs anymore?  Jimin had never felt sick, but if this was that feeling, he could live with it. Yes, it hurted, but Jimin wanted to suffer in order to spend more time with his true love. If he had to go through every single kind of pain and every mermaid symptom, so be it. Jimin stood up weakly, his whole body was lightly shaking. He flushed the toilet and grabbed two towels. Jimin walked downstairs and saw Jungkook sitting on the couch in the living room watching the music channel on TV. He turned around to Jimin who stood still in the living room. ''Are you going to swim, Jiminie?'' Jungkook asked and nodded with his head to the two towels in Jimin's hands. ''Yeah.'' The mermaid softly answered and walked to the pool, leaving Jungkook alone in the living room. ''Can I join you?'' . ''No, I'm sorry.'' Jimin hated to reject his question, but he wouldn't swim. No, he was going to cry, shout underwater, and hurt his own tail. Now that he finally had legs, Jimin hated his mermaid tail. It was the one thing that made him different from humans and he wanted to be just like them. He didn't want to be a freak with a tail, he didn't want to be a creature that wasn't supposed to excist in the human world, he didn't want to be a mermaid. Jimin dropped the towels at the edge of the pool and took off his clothes. He dived into the pool and hated the feeling he always got when his tail appeared. But this time it stinged a bit too. It felt like his own body was punishing him for not transforming enough, because Jimin loved his legs more than his tail and didn't want to lose them, even it was for a short amount of time. Jimin broke through the surface of the water and turned around, so that he could lay with his back on the ege of the pool. He looked disgusted at the navy blue mermaid tail that was in the place of his beautiful legs. Jimin wanted his legs back, he wanted to swim with legs instead of a tail. He looked around to make sure Jungkook wasn't by the pool and then he finally let some of his emotions free. Salty tears streamed over Jimin's cheeks and sobs escaped from his throat. Jimin hid his face with his hands, so that he didn't show his sadness to the world, even though he was alone in the pool. In that moment, Jimin remembered a poem Seokjin-hyung had told him when he came back from land. Seokjin loved the poems humans wrote and still remembered a few. But they were always sad.

"A mermaid found a swimming lad,

Picked him for her own,

Pressed her body to his body,

Laughed; and plunging down

Forgot in cruel happiness

That even lovers drown."

Jimin hated time. Because there wasn't enough for him. He wanted to be with Jungkook forever. And Jimin hated the hard, cold truth that he couldn't. His love for Jungkook was so strong, so pure, so real. The heartwrenching pain of losing your lover was terrible and Jimin finally understood what Seokjin and Namjoon went through with each other. All those tears. It wasn't worth it, because his tears would get lost in the salty seawater. His sadness would replace his happiness. Would Jimin ever know love when he wasn't with Jungkook? Even happiness? Or would he become like Seokjin, depressed? Atleast Jungkook wasn't dead, Jimin thought. But then the horrible realisation hit him and he gasped loudly. Tears blurred his vision when he finally understood what would happen to him. The mental breakdown he had was the beginning of the painful cycle of sickness symptoms. It led out to one of the last stages, that Seokjin also went through. Not feeling your legs anymore and the skin peeling off, showing your scales. After that, the last stage of the cycle would happen, and if it went further than that, you'll die. If Jimin would ignore the last stage of the cycle, he would die. So if Seokjin-hyung didn't went back to the ocean and stayed with his lover on land, Namjoon wouldn't have died but Seokjin did. Jimin laid himself in the water and floated on his back, while his mind was racing. Would he risk dying to spend more time with Jungkook? He immediatly knew the answer. If there wasn't another way then yes, he probaly would. Jimin didn't stop crying and he only cried more when he thought about death. He was scared, so scared. But he would risk anything, even his life, to be with Jungkook.

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I don't know if all of you feel better by it, but I cried while writing this chapter. The feelings I have with writing this story are so complicated, because it can go from happy to sad real quick. And Jikook is just such a cute ship. I hope all of you love this story as much as I do, because it's really special to me. Anyways, a new chapter is coming soon, so stay tuned! Author nim out!