In Hell We Dance

Honest

I link my arms around him that night, with no words spoken, but so much said. He was utterly silent, drained on the car ride back. But he stayed close, fingers clenched round mine, head draped across my shoulder. And we lay there the rest of the evening, feeling each other, embracing that presence, like there was nowhere else to be, no one else to take this from us.

The same goes in the morning, except I'm stiff all over, and when I try to get up, he pulls me back, refusing to let me leave his sight. I stay a little longer, but then I lean over, pressing my forehead to his, and whisper in his ear.

"I love you, but I have to go."

He furrows his brow, the first hint of another emotion. A good sign, I guess.

"It's my dad," I explain. "I didn't want to tell you. Not yet anyway. It's getting worse. It's been half a year. He keeps going on most nights about how he has to see this place. I've kept him at bay, saying it really won't look nice until it's done. Well in harsher words than that, and with a lot more yelling and swearing. Swear to god, I think we should just... burn it to the ground and say it was a terrible accident. Claim the insurance, give it back to him and just... run."

"You..." he clears his throat, running his arm across my chest, linking his fingers so he has a tight hold of me. "you want to do that? You think we can? Just... run?"

"Does that really bother you?" I grin. "I thought you were a bit of an expert in that area."

He shrugs.

"I thought I was past that." A long pause. "But I could stand to run a bit further."

"How does Malta sound?"

"Do they speak English?"

"Maybe you," I tap his nose, then kiss him tenderly. "should learn another language. It wouldn't hurt."

He rolls his eyes, a perfect mirror of me.

"Boring." Some vigour is returning to his voice. It's like only now he's waking up. "OK then."

"What?"

"We'll do that." He returns my kiss, makes it something more. "Let Hell burn. I'll light the fire."

I shift in his arms, but his hold is too strong.

"I was only kidding. You know how serious that shit is. They have investigations, interrogations... They know if you're faking this stuff."

"Well, then we'll... accidentally start the fire."

"Sure. Look, for the next few days at least, I can't be here in the evenings. Is that alright? I could maybe sneak out one night if you really need me."

"I do."

I blush, but press on.

"I want to be here. But can you at least give me a few days to cool his shit and come up with a plan?"

"So this is it?" I raise a brow. He's so adorable in his poutiness. "This is how Hell dies. Not with a bang. It was all... pointless."

"Maybe. Or maybe not. I can't say. But I met you. And I don't regret that."

I leave him with one final kiss and hide my frown. If only running was an option. I know I can't escape this. If this all goes down in the orange tongue of flames, I have to endure those burns. I've seen what a lifetime of running accomplishes, and that life has left him more fragile than he would admit. If we do this, if we change our lives, we have to accept the consequences first.

Oh, who am I kidding? I'm just a hopeless child at my core. Just like him. Maybe it's why we mesh so well. I take his hand in mine, brush my lips against his velvet pillows, and my heart aches with a passion when I'm away from him. It's fucking weird. I don't ever want to leave him, not least of all because I'm terrified I'll find him how I did... yesterday. I shudder.