In Hell We Dance

Dream

-Connor-

I become mother. Again. Really it's the only thing I can do to stay together. Without that... Yeah, you know what a trainwreck I become. Bye-bye house supply of tissues.

So I'm not leaving him without a means of contacting me. It's too risky for him to be out and about, so I pop off to the stores to get everything my runaway lover needs. Phone. New clothes. A snazzy looking fedora. I think it suits him. And a shit load of money. Too much. But he is starting a new life, and he'll need the boost. Consider this a good investment. Not... Not like Hell.

When I return home, Isaac ambushes me, throwing his arms and legs around me, his weight bringing me down onto the bed. We get tangled, lips adventurous, too damn curious. Isaac runs his hand down my trousers, but I stop him there. As delicious as it is, this can consume us, until he never leaves. 

Tempting. So damn tempting.

But I have to let him go. I suppose I've always known that. It's always been building to this eventuality. I'd say I'd steeled my heart for this moment. It might be a lie.

But I'm holding together. Just.

As Isaac lays over me, pressing his face into my neck, nibbling at skin, I have to crane to look over his head and at my phone. Double-checking his flight, and also that his mum's address is correct. There's a flight eight o'clock tonight. I choose Friday. Three days from now. Three. Whole. Days. With Isaac. That's more sex than I can handle. I don't think I'll be able to walk for a month!

A dangerous risk. But if Isaac has rubbed off on me in any way, it's to add a little fire to the cold husk that was me one year ago. A year of... Well, I wanna say it was perfect. It was heartbreaking. Continues to be so. But it was also the best fucking year because I found hope. I found him.

And so I remain a shut-in. Mum and dad leave me alone. Waiting for the inevitable dad explosion—no doubt he's preparing my disownment speech now. When I do exit the room, I make sure the coast is clear. I've spoken to Oscar twice, but just to tell him everything will work out. That Isaac will be gone soon, and I can figure out what the future holds for me. Because no matter what shit goes down, when dad finally evicts me from his life, I'll be ready. I'll be bold.

Did I mention the sex? Bone-aching, fucking amazing hours of it. When I get up to get us food, or shower, or whatever, I walk like a robot, and Isaac cackles his head off. I blush, but really, I can't complain. We're young, and our lives are about to change entirely. Let us enjoy these moments. Soon enough, my bed will be my own again. But I'll be counting the days. That's right, it won't be too long before I'm in his arms again. The one direction in this life I'm iron-clad certain of.

Thursday should be a quiet day in his arms. Instead, Isaac has one last loose end to wrap up, one last promise to keep.

***

The words are fresh from his lips when Aiden hooks onto Isaac, digging his face into his chest.

"You're leaving," he says, voice muffled against the jacket. He'd closed the door behind him quickly, obviously ashamed. It was clear to me now. Why he was so goggle-eyed in my car, why he was so tight-lipped about his family, always asking we pick him up at the bus stop near his house, and never the house itself. Sure, a Mercedes is freaking sweet, but when you're living in a squashed little flat, car practically ready to fall apart at a feather's touch, everything must seem like a luxury. Guilt swept through me suddenly, and I made a mental note to do a little investing in Aiden's family. For the time being, I have more money than I'll ever know what to do with. He needs it far more than I ever could.

You know, before dad cuts my funding entirely. I'm just glad it hasn't happened yet, or Isaac would never be leaving the country. The selfish part of me is very keen on that idea. The rational side... The stupid fricking rational side doesn't relent.