In Hell We Dance

Control

-Isaac-

"I stole my first car when I was fourteen."

Connor links his fingers under his chin, eyes shining, ready to hear another tale in the Isaac shitshow.

"Dillon—older guy, tiny goatee and squinty eyes—he was our leader. He found nothings like me and made us into somethings. He said we were Freedom Junkies. We weren't above the law. We just didn't acknowledge its existence. There's a difference. We saw ourselves as liberated. Call it what you want. We were criminals straight up. I didn't care. I didn't care about a lot of things.

"Sometimes people leave their keys in easy to reach places. Some cars you can hotwire. I was buzzed—on a high. I was just a kid. I was scared, but I was alive, ya know?"

Connor nods, and I lick my lips, adjusting my legs, the mattress creaking.

"Everything went wrong. Door wouldn't open. Someone saw me. I freaked. I smashed the window with my crowbar and jumped in. I wasn't good at hotwiring in the first place. You gotta keep calm. I could hear running, some guy screaming at me. I had half a mind to climb out and clock him round the head. Didn't. I was trying to find the damn wires. I screamed and bashed the roof. The sun visor came down and the keys fell on my lap.

"I felt like screaming. No time. Guy reached the window, reaching his arm in." I start miming the actions, which amuses Connor. I love seeing him smile like that. "He got the door open and started to drag me out. I scrambled for my crowbar but dropped it. He got me in this headlock, all two-hundred pounds of him. I bit and scratched, but he wouldn't budge. That's it, I thought. Jail. I could see it. 'Cept I wasn't alone. Dillon was watching me, testing me. I felt my attacker go limp and then he slumped to the ground. My heart was racing. I looked over and saw a small puddle of blood forming around his head.

"'Is he dead?' I stammered. Dillon's face gave away nothing. He was holding a lead pipe. He didn't even offer to help me up. Just stared. Then he left. I watched him go, then looking round, I saw I'd be stupid to stay. So I grabbed my crowbar and ran after him. He told me to fuck off and I didn't see him again for almost a year. I tried jacking a few cars myself. Had a joyride in two of them before crashing one and ditching the other when I saw a cop car. I stayed under the radar after that. Then guess who I ran into?

"He was hiding out in one of our old haunts, and I'd gone there to get high—you could always rely on that place for some good, cheap shit. I froze when I saw him. But the funny thing is, it was like nothing happened. It was freaky shit, I tell you. I did better then. I told myself it was for the money. For mum. Truth is, I liked the adrenaline kick. I liked being something I wasn't. Living a life whereas before I was just existing." I shrug. "Anyway, since then I ain't stopped running. Dillon taught me a lot. He's the only person I'd ever consider a friend. You know, except you of course."

I reach over and pinch his cheek. Connor slaps my hand away and blushes, sitting up, the spell broken.

He frowns. "What happened? You know... One day your partnership ended."

I stare at him, wondering if he really needs to hear it. Then I shrug again, deciding: why the hell not?

"It was no partnership, man. It was a crew. Not even that. We had rules, but like, no one stuck to them. I became a man because of those fuckwits. And man did they teach me some valuable lessons. Broken collabone, nose—twice; everything and everyone was their property, and that no one is really your friend. Some of them got snatched. Cops springing traps. I would have fallen right into one, but I ran when I saw how little Dillon actually cared. Plus, things with mum were getting bad and I needed to hop countries."

Connor frowns, and I want to ease it out.

"I thought you said your mum took you both over."

I freeze, but only for a second.