The Loss (Sabriel/Slight Destiel Fanfic)

Chapter 3: Confessions of a Grown Man

~Hi guys!! Thanks for reading. As you know this fanfic has self harm and suicidal thoughts and attempt suicide. If you don't like then please don't continue. This fanfic is just something I've been wanting to write. Since I barely write anything, first time writing a complete fanfic of Sabriel. Never really wrote stuff like this. But I hope you enjoy! :)~

(Sam's POV)

The Impala was parked out front, Dean and Cas were home. Probably because I forgot to text him, I twirled the blade I took from Gabe in my hand. Staring at my reflection. A frown painted across my face.

Gabriel was right, those scars were from me. He got those scars because I wouldn't tell him I loved him. Those scars on his arm would heal but not the scars inside.

I dropped the blade onto my lap, sighing. Resting my head against my palm. In my pocket, my cell rung for the 4th time.

Climbing out of the maroon car, I crammed the blade in my pocket and went inside. Dean threw daggers my way. I wasn't in the mood. "Sammy, what happened?" Dean inquired, An arm wrapped around Cas.

"Nothing." I lied.

"Sam, I know when you're lying." Cas backed away from Dean, his head tilted in interest. "Tell me what's going on."

"Gabriel," I reached in my pocket removing the blade. Their eyes widen, "He said they were because of me. It was my fault."

"It's not your fault." Dean said, a lump formed in my throat. I grabbed a cup and headed upstairs. Where I could hear my thoughts without wanting to scream.

What if it was my fault?

'You idjit, he loves you! Don't you see that?' A Tiny voice in the back of my head yelled.

Gabriel loved me, I was too scared to admit it. Since everyone I ever loved got hurt when I admit my feelings. I didn't want Gabriel to get hurt.

Now he's getting hurt because of me. This isn't what I wanted. I didn't want this. I grabbed my head-rubbing my eyes.

'He loves you, he's hurting because of you.'

I snatched a pillow off the ground, covering my face. "Shut up."

(Gabriel's POV)

[I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut

My weakness is that I care too much

And my scars remind me that the past is real

I tear my heart open just to feel

Drunk and I'm feeling down

And I just wanna be alone

I'm pissed cause you came around

Why don't you just go home

Cause you channel all your pain

And I can't help you fix yourself

You're making me insane

All I can say is]

Tears flowed down my cheeks, the tiny room vibrated from the song. I eyed my cell phone that I had made. 'Should I call him' I thought.

[I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut

My weakness is that I care too much

And our scars remind us that the past is real

I tear my heart open just to feel

I tried to help you once

Against my own advice

I saw you going down

But you never realized

That you're drowning in the water

So I offered you my hand

Compassions in my nature

Tonight is our last stand]

"No," I breathed, bringing my knees up to my chest. My bedroom door opened, a pair of arms embraced me. Picking me up off the cold floor. They pulled away.

Two dark brown caring eyes met mine.

He came back.

"I'm sorry," Sam whispered, his voice cracking, "I'm so sorry I pushed you away."