it's always been you.

22

"I'll see you soon Squish."

Finn said, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"I'm gonna miss you so much."

I said as I started crying.

"I'm gonna miss you too. But don't worry about me. Worry about yourself. Worry about how you're gonna get better."

Finn said.

"Don't cry baby."

Finn said, wiping my tears.

"Flight 192 To San Jose is now boarding."

The intercom said.

"I'll see you soon baby."

Finn said.

"I'll see you soon."

I said, grabbing my suitcase and walking away.

6 Hours Later

"I hate talking about myself."

I said to the therapist.

"Well that's what you're here to do. Why don't you tell me about Aaron Solow?"

She said.

"What about him?"

I asked.

"What about him?"

"What happened to cause you to leave him in the first place?"

"He abused me. Then he kicked me out."

"So why did you go back to him?"

"To protect my fiancé."

"And what did Aaron do to you when you were with him?"

"What didn't he do? He raped me. He beat me. He did everything to make me feel like shit. He purposely did everything that Finn does to make me amazing about myself, so I would feel like shit when Finn does it. He called me Squish. Every time Finn calls me Squish all I can think about is Aaron pinning me down on the bed and striping me down to nothing. He didn't just strip away my clothes...he stripped away my dignity."

I said as I stared at the therapist.

"He raped you?"

The therapist asked.

"Multiple times. After the first couple, You become numb to it. And if I struggled, he would pin me against the wall or the bed and just laugh at me. He was way too powerful for me. He use to say "You like that Squish? You like being treated like the trash you are? Does Finn ever do it like that?". It made me feel dirty. Like I was just a piece of ass to him. And that's all I was. That's all I ever was."

I said, holding back my tears. I never realized how traumatized I was till now. But that's how life was now. I was just broken, defeated, worthless...Pamela.