What Goes Around (Bulldogs MC #3)

1: I'm An Arsehole!

^^ Lenni ^^

My feet are killing me and I'm shattered. I can feel a headache starting up just behind my eyes, and for once I find myself hating my boss. I've worked for him for six months now, and usually he's great. He's a shark of a lawyer and an arsehole in the courtroom, but with his staff he's pretty laid back. Until recently, that is. He's got a massive case coming up and he's been working us all like dogs. I'm thanking god it's Friday today, and after working late all week, I've finally managed to clock out on time. At least I've got two days off now.

As I push the door to Shelby's cafe open, the first thing I notice is the screams of my goddaughter. I look towards the counter and see Mel bouncing her on her knee while trying to eat one handed. I drop my handbag on a table and make my way over to them. Mel doesn't even notice me until I reach for the baby. As she looks up at me I notice the tears flowing down her cheeks, and the dark circles under her eyes. Picking Lena up, I bounce her on my hip while pacing next to Mel.

"Hey beautiful," I say, nudging her side with my free hip. "What's wrong?"

She sniffles and looks up at me. "I'm just tired. She's teething and this screaming seems to be all she does at the minute. Nothing I try is good enough." Her voice breaks and I see the tears hit her eyes again.

My heart breaks at the sight. The Mel I've known before has been bright and cheerful, and one of the most confident women I know. It hurts to see her so worn down and unsure. I try to quiet Lena down, but she's having none of it. I can see her eyes drooping but she's fighting it hard. I turn back to Mel.

"Eat your food. I've got her, okay?" Her only response is a sniffle, but she turns back to her plate, able to use both hands now. As I look around the cafe I notice how quiet it is, with only an elderly couple sitting in a booth at the back. I spot the ice bucket behind the counter and walk round to grab an ice cube. "Let's try this madam, huh?" I say to Lena. I rub the ice cube against her bottom gums, and she quiets almost instantly, with just soft sniffles as she tries to lick the ice cube. Her bottom gums are red and swollen but I can see the edge of her first tooth trying to poke through. She seems to like the cold of the ice so I turn back to Mel with a smile. It drops off my face instantly when I see her crying again.

"How did you know to do that? God, I'm her mum and I didn't know that. I'm so useless!" She breaks off into a sob and her shoulders shake.

"Hey! You stop that right now! You are not bloody useless; you're incredible. I just made a guess and got lucky. Where's this coming from?" I ask her, shocked beyond words at how insecure she feels.

"She doesn't stop crying, nothing I try works, I've barely slept for days, I'm pretty sure she just hates me. And Ash is bored of me already! My boobs are starting to sag, I've got lumps and rolls where it used to be firm, and I'm not surprised he barely touches me these days. And on the rare occasion he does, we're interrupted by screaming!" She's breathless by the end of her rant, and I think my jaw just hit the floor. I feel Lena's head resting against my shoulder and realise she's finally fallen asleep. I place her in her buggy and sit on the stool next to Mel.

"Look at me," I say softly to her, smiling when she does. "You're exhausted, physically and mentally. Slept deprivation is a total bitch. She doesn't hate you; you're her mummy! She's in pain, which is normal with teething. But she can't sleep properly because of it, so she's cranky as hell. Kinda like you," I nudge her shoulder gently and smile when a small laugh escapes her. "This is normal. Her tooth is almost through, and as soon as it is, this will all get easier. As for Ash! Honey, that guy is enthralled by you! He watches you like you're the sun and he's freezing. He adores you both. This is all a massive change for you both. You're both exhausted and all of a sudden there's an extra little human demanding attention. You need a break, that's all. I promise, okay?"