Ma Chérie | Remington Leith

Nothing to do with me

Remington:
I woke up to Emerson shaking me. I fell asleep on the piano again. I was almost finished with the song.
"Morning sunshine." Emerson said "Get dressed, were going for ice cream."
"I don't want to." I mumbled getting to from the piano
"Trust me. You do." Emerson said "Go shower."
I tried to argue but Emerson locked me in the bathroom.
"Alright alright!" I surrender "But after you have to leave me alone."
"Deal."

...

I got dressed but didn't bother putting on makeup. I just didn't care. I was only doing this so Emerson would leave me alone to finish the song.
Emerson looked me up and down.
"Alright then..."
"What?" I snapped
Emerson put his hand up in defense.

...

We walked a few blocks before Emerson stopped us.
"Why are we just standing here?" I asked in annoyance
"We're waiting for someone." Emerson said looking at his phone
"I'm not waiting for your girlfriend-" Emerson cut me off
"It's not her." Emerson said flatly
I sighed and sat down on the curb, looking at the ground. A few minutes passed before I heard a familiar voice.
"Ugh. Too much walking."
I spun around and saw Alex hugging Emerson. I stood there awkwardly. Emerson glared at me, Alex turned around and saw me.
I wanted to cry. She looked awful. She was sickly thin again. Her cheeks and eyes sunken in. She looked fragile. I was afraid to touch her. She wore a baggy grey sweatshirt thought it was hot out. I knew what she was hiding. I knew she was using again. I couldn't look at her.
I slowly walked over to her. As I got closer, the worse she looked. Her lip was busted and she had a black eye and scratches on her cheek. Similar to the ones she got when she was arrested.
I held back tears. My face stone.
I looked at her. Showing no emotion. She did the same.
Without a word. I wrapped my arms around her tiny frame. I was afraid I'd break her. She was drowning in that sweatshirt. She was so tiny. So helpless.
She held onto me. As tight as she could but her grip was still soft. Comforting.
I kissed the top of her head but she didn't react. I didn't want to pull away, but Alex was hesitant.
I sighed almost silently. The air was heavy and sad. Emerson just watched us, pity in his eyes.
"Well then, Ice cream?" Emerson said
We all walked down the block to the creme stand. Alex walked beside Emerson. She was still avoiding me. She looked everywhere but at me. There was an unspoken rule.
Don't ask Alex about where she's been.
It was the elephant in the room.
We got to the stand and Alex ordered what she always did.
Strawberry.
We began walking around and eating ice cream. It was relatively quiet, with Emerson tried to make conversation but it went no where. I tried to keep myself from staring at Alex- but I couldn't help it.
Alex caught me staring at her and cracked a grin.
"Don't get any ideas."
I blushed at the ground. It was the first thing Alex had said to me all day. Emerson smiled. Taking this opportunity to sneak off. Leaving me and Alex.
"I have to go get- sharpies- yeah- see you guys later." Emerson said as he ducked into a store.
I rolled my eyes, so did Alex.
"You know he planned this." Alex said
"Yeah. I should have known." I say still avoiding eye contact
I couldn't help but smile. I missed Alex. But I couldn't tell her that.
Screw it.
"I missed you-" I blurt out
Alex scoffed
"You missed the idea of me."
I stopped walking.
"What-? No-Alex- I mean- " I shook my head tripping over my words "forget it. Never mind."
There was awkward silence before Alex spoke.
"How's Pauline?" She asked
I shrugged "We broke up."
I looked at her, waiting for a reaction but she showed none.
"How are you?" I asked after a moment
Alex scoffed and stoped walking.
"Remington. Don't act like you didn't notice." Alex put her arms out, showing herself off "look at me!"
I couldn't look. She was so fragile. So broken.
Alex scoffed "You can't even look. Can you?"
"Goddamnit Alex!" I snapped. I couldn't take it "Just come back! Come live with us! I know what's going on! I know what Rickey's doing to you! Hell its all over your face! The black eye, the busted lip! And the sweatshirt? It's like 800 degrees out! I know your using again! Look at yourself! Just come back! Let us help you! Please! Let me help..."
Alex froze, I was so close to her. She stared up at me with her big brown eyes. I couldn't take it.
I did it again
I grabbed her wrist and kissed her!
Alex pulled away immediately.
"Get off me Remington!" Alex pushed me away "I don't need your pity Remington! Come here was a mistake!"
Alex stormed off.
I squeezed my eyes shut. Crossing my arms and sitting down on the curb. Hot tears stained my face as I buried it in my arms.
I was alone again.
I lost her.
She wanted nothing to do with me...