Can You Love Me Again?

Chapter 12- Somehow I'll Be Strong

Padmé stood at her granite counters, drumming her fingers impatiently waiting for the salmon to finish cooking. Grilled salmon with an apricot, mustard, and balsamic glaze served over a bed of baby arugula dressed with a simple vinaigrette made from the same ingredients as the glaze. She decided to pick up cooking and cleaning as a hobby recently, not only for lack of things to do but also to distract her restless mind. The salmon was going to be finished soon and she'd just finished mopping up. Slightly still damp but not to bothersome, she returned to her inner monologue with herself.

Ever since he's come back into her life her dopamine levels decreased dramatically and found herself often wishing he'd just disappear from her life, go away and be absent of her and her waiting love for another 16 years.

She honestly loved him very much when they were younger, but even the brightest stars burn out. Of course she wasn't too old either but when he was nearby she felt her ageing process shoot up, along with her blood pressure and her unstable emotions and feelings concerning him.

Padmé knew she still loved him, cared deeply about him. Wanting nothing more than to rush over, live in his warm embrace and kiss him passionately while confessing her still undying love for him. passion never dies, but love does. She couldn't deny that no matter how hard she tried to forget him, erase him from her mind and heart so she'd never feel the thornes of the lost prickling at her day and night, reminding her of the times they shared and what times they could've enjoyed. He was only down the hall. Merely a shout away but she'd never felt so far away from him.

She knew he'd be gone soon. This was after all a temporary setup and he'd soon walk out of her life once again forever. She'd never see his radiant smile, the potent white twinkle in his perfect pair of sky blue crystals. He'd once more be ripped from her grasp, only teasing her as her fingers would graze his heart again then turn on his heel and walk away. He go on to fight for the rebellion as a hero like he always was and was always destined to be. Meanwhile she'd stay here on her home planet. A place that once brought her gifts of joy and comfort but now it only scorched her, reminding her of her first mistake... She'd walk a lonely road once she sent her babies to secondary school. They'd each pursue something so incommensurable and when they moved off world, she'd take the remaining pieces of her heart with them. home was where her heart was, but her heart was still back with the republic fighting for peace, linked with her husbands furnace heart, together their love burned hotter than Mustafar itself. But she'd be strong this time. She wouldn't cave in like she had twenty years ago. She wouldn't permit him to woo her again, with his charm and personality. He wouldn't pull her down again she'd rise higher than his ego as soon as he gone and away from her love, she'd be strong.

"Mmm something smells fantastic!" A cheerful voice exclaimed from behind her.

"Thank you Anakin." She responded distantly, hauling the salmon from the medium heated on the grill setting. She wasn't irrefutable that it was well done, but she just had to face away from him so she wouldn't be encompassed in his flirtatious meddlings.

'Don't sit down don't sit down. And... he sat down. Great.' She thought bitterly as her hearing picked up the wooden chair with the violet cushion being dragged across the tiles.

They remained in an awkward silence for a moment as Padmé artistically placed some sun dry tomatoes and dressing over the moist salmon. Anakin watched her contently for a moment, the way her hips swayed lightly to a nonexistent rhythm, probably to one of her old Nabooian tunes she used to ogle over during their time as secretly married. He beamed as he imagined one of them, closing his eyes contently to just be in her presence until he began to relax his mind.

Though as he relaxed, the force coursed through him, allowing him to sense her feelings. He expected her to be at peace mentally because she looked so happy physically. He was low-key surprised when he felt sorrow that consumed nearly her whole heart, he felt her disdain towards him but he also sensed some suppressed feelings and while he was given a sense of solace that sliver of tenderness remained in her heart solely for him, he couldn't help but let his lips drop into a frown. She didn't want him here...