My personal Hell

You

You are the one I think about before falling asleep. You’re the one I think about when reality gets boring. You’re the one I think about when I’m busy as hell. You’re the one I think about when I have nothing to do. I dream about you whether I’m asleep or not. You’re like a drug. You take me out of reality and make me see unicorns and rainbows. You’re like a candy, sweet and addictive. You’re like alcohol, it’s funny to do you but in the next morning all I want to do is die. You’re like a lot of things but most of all you’re like poison. Your sweet appearance and your evil taste, you kill slowly. You let your victims feel all the pain from being killed from the inside out and when they, dying with lust, can’t take anymore you steel their heart. You don’t kill but you’re a killer. You stool my heart and you used it in your dark magical rituals. You scarred and broke it. You threw it to the wolves. You offered it to Satan and he burnt it in the depths of hell. You left me heartless. Without knowing you made me become a monster. They say you can’t kill what you did not create… Then why do I feel myself dying a little bit more every time I look to the other side of the bed and see you there? Maybe what’s killing me is that I’m killing you. Darling, I’m the voices inside your head and the sadness you feel. I’m the emptiness and the darkness. I’m your life and your demise.

I can’t stop looking at you while you sleep, breathing softly. I love to hear your heart beating. I love the way you talk, the way you walk, the way you look at me in the morning … But, darling, I don’t love you. I never did and I never will. Love is about trust and friendship. Love is when everything you do remembers you of your lover. Love is when your heart beats faster just by hearing the sound of your lover’s voice. Love is when you start to understand the words of your favorite love song. I don’t love you and I never did but there’s something about you… Your sweet and hateful words, the way you say you hate me, the way you scream at me… What do I do? I fell in love with your worst but I deeply hate your best. I hate the way you say you love me. I hate your smile and the way you laugh. I hate your happiness. I love your tears and the way you scream in pain. I love your sadness. I hate the way the light kisses your smile in the morning but I love the way the darkness hides your tears. I don’t love you at all. I don’t hate you at all. I half love and half hate you. I hate that I love you and I love that I hate you.