The Overthinking Addict

A Day in Life

My life? My life is an amusement park and these are the rides.
At 10pm there's a rollercoaster of timeless emotions, a serious of up and down movements and I want to get off, I need to get off. Swinging through the air, while depressing thoughts capture my mind and swallow my soul. I'm a slave to my feelings but it's hard to let go. The ride then stops 100ft in the air, afraid of plummeting and feelings of despair take over me and believe me, it takes all of me.

At 9am there's  a merry go round of harsh reality, the bitter truth, where I'm awake more tired than before. My bones feel battered, brittle and bruised, my heart it aches, broken and misused. Because I awake each day to a life that kills me, not literally but emotionally and spiritually, its draining me. Because anxiety is not something I hoped to have, it's the gift the devil brings to your birthday party and I wouldn't even wish it on my worst enemy. And when it shows up uninvited it brings a friend, depression is his name and he has no end. He sings sweet songs of silence on the brightest of days and when others are laughing, I'm going insane. He poisons my mind, like chaos to my thoughts and anxiety, she helps him so I keep going round and round. Dizzy, confused, overthinking and sinking into a pool of dark thoughts until 3 in the afternoon.

At 4pm there's the slide of agony, where all the silence gets loud and my voice is calling out for help as slide I into the abyss. With a push from sadness, my old friend, I'm sliding into my darkest fears. What if I don't succeed? What if it devours all of me? My parents say to snap out of it, but they've never been to the party. They overdosed me on whatever pill can take the pain away, but pain is the guy, who doesn't leave the party, he just stays. Even after its over, he corners me,he abuses me. Leaving me feeling worthless until I fall asleep. Because when you're asleep it all stops until the next day, when i go to school, they'll point and call me a depressing little fool. But they don't know me and they never will, they just add to my illnesses and make me pop pills,  but no one listens and no one tries to understand. I'm sorry mom that I have all these demands, I wish I was normal, I wish someone can take it all away, but it's time to go to bed to face another day, because lets face it i don't want to die and with eyes wide shut, I keep praying to survive.