firm | completed

58

Point of View: Firm

"let go." madiin 'kong sabi habang mataman ko siyang tinitigan.

"no, let's go." he said at hinatak ako.

minumura ko na ang sarili ko dahil the moment when he hold my wrist my knees goes weak, wala na naman talo na naman ako. i wanna used my strength pero para 'bang may kakayahan siyang pahinain ako.

"chaos!" sigaw ko, nilingon niya ako with his eyes burning. what the heck is wrong with this guy.

"why are you here?" tanong ko. he did not answer.

"i'm asking you why are you here?" pag uulit ko.

"you asked me to come." sabi nito. nagbuntong hininga ako at tinitigan siyang mabuti. he looks so tired, his eyes were telling me something but nevertheless, he's still a beauty.

"pero sabi mo you cannot." sabi ko. umiwas ako ng tingin. i won't cry, i won't cry in front of him again.

he just stared at me. "chaos ano ba?" galit na saad ko.

"why cannot I just keep you for myself?" tanong nito na nagpakunot sa noo ko at nagpamura sa akin ng malutong.

"hindi kita maintindihan." sabi ko. "chaos, please, go now. bakit ka pa pumunta? hindi naman mahalaga ang sasabihin ko." sinungaling.

"i wanna heard what are you going to tell me." sabi nito.

"firm, tell me that you hate me. firm, tell me that I am a jerk. firm, tell me that i hate you." sabi nito.

i cannot believe this. "because if not–" tinapik ko ang mukha niya (sampal para sa kaniya pero sakin dampi lang 'yon.)

"I hate you! you are a jerk! why do you hate me so bad? but the feeling is mutual i fucking hate myself! because despite of me hating you guess what? you made me fell for you chaos."

he looks at me. horror, confused, hurt and other emotion was seen in his eyes.

"chaos, i like you." was all i said before i break down and cried my heart out. my tears is a bitch.

"bakit ka nahulog?" was the only answer I got. tiningala ko siya.

"i never want this. i thought after confessing that I liked ace just to avoid you would lessen my burdens, but it became more painful." I said. may tumakas na luha na naman sa mata ko marahas ko itong pinahid.

"bakit ka nahulog? akala ko ba strong ka? why now?" naiinis na ako. tumayo ako para itulak siya napaupo siya. I wanna crush him down.

"diba ito ang gusto mo ang mahulog ang taong kinaayawan mo? taong malakas? now, you had seen the fall of the so called strong girl you must be so happy. this time I fell for real, I lost the game."

he was just staring at me. "i'm sorry…" I keep my cool.

"don't. just do what the favor I asked if I fall. be a stranger, pretend that we don't exist. i'm going to avoid your friends and primma, a peace chaos I want it do not mind my feelings, it will heal fast."

that's what I said before leaving him and for the first time I admit that I am weak.

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sHET ANG GANDA NG WHEN THE WIND BLOWS NI YOONA MARS! HUHUHUUUUUUYUUY