The Wallflower Effect

Chapter 10: Going Hunting.

After yet another hour with the cops at my house, which was now a crime scene, they left and I had gotten a terrible night's rest.  I looked in the mirror at my horrifyingly visible bags, I debated weather I cared enough to bother with make up. I didn't recognize myself without my signature sass and immaculate hair. I looked hollow, empty, even to myself. I thought about Adira, about her death. I decided that make up didn't matter so much. Nothing really mattered to me anymore. I was losing my appreciation for things that used to be huge to me. I used to look in the mirror and smile because I was actually satisfied with what I saw, so certain if I just had Gage and I ignored everything and everyone else, nothing bad would happen and I would be alright. 

Now I chuckled at myself in the mirror, my pale unblemished skin, high cheek bones, full lips, grey eyes and blonde hair all somehow conveying the twisted amusement I felt. I had a stalker who was somewhere in my town murdering in my name. What the hell did make up matter? Neither did clothes, I guess. I carelessly picked up a black band t-shirt off the floor, as well as a dirty pair or grey skinny jeans. I grabbed cognac brown leather ankle boots and my book bag from my closet, and I walked out of my room without glancing in the mirror again. Walking down the stairs from my room, I was surprised to find both my parents, side by side on the couch, sharing a giant waffle with syrup on it. It was home-made and gluten free, I was sure.

"Hey honey. You still have forty five minutes before your school starts. We made a batch of waffles, as you can see. Would you like to have breakfast with me and your mother for a change?" My father asked, smiling at me, like he had a right to.

I hadn't had breakfast with my parents in three years. They were to busy to bother with me, and had told me so multiple times. My lips pressed together in intense rage. But because I couldn't bring myself to find any words to express myself, I stared at them blankly for a few seconds.

"Well, what do you say, sweetheart?" My mother inquired tentatively after I failed to respond.

Deciding once again, that in the grand scheme of things, my feelings about my parents didn't matter. I'm sure Adira was adored by her parents the same way she was be her fellow cheerleaders. I'm sure she loved them, and wouldn't start a fight with them if she didn't have to. So why should I? So, without a word, I walked away, deciding if I didn't have anything nice to say I shouldn't say anything at all.

Without looking at them, I walked over to the fridge, grabbed a left over taco from when Gage had taken me out last night, and took a bit of it, even if it was cold. I closed the fridge, taking the taco with me.

"Zoey, where are you going?" My father cried out after me. I didn't answer.I thought the backpack made it obvious.

Normally, I drove to school with Gage after a run in the morning, but I didn't have the energy for a fun, nor the inclination to speak to anyone, not even Gage, who I loved more than anyone else in the whole world. I didn't have the energy to convince myself that being just friends with him was okay with me. I didn't have the energy to make small talk on the way to classes. What would we talk about? Adira? Her being killed for me, and her heart left on my doorstep? Besides, I'd vowed to myself that after last night, I would stop loving him and give Eathan a fair chance. It would be easier if I wasn't in confined spaces with him. It was better for me if I didn't ride with him today. So, I would walk.

As I was ten minutes into my walk, I began to feel the autumn chill sink into my bones, as I'd neglected to grab a coat. As I walked, I pictured all the memories I had of Adira. We were never good friends, and she wasn't the nicest person to me, but we were peers. Classmates. We had classes and lunches and talent shows together. On some level, we were alike. Yeah, she was mean. But did that mean she deserved death? I didn't think so.