The Wallflower Effect

Chapter 9: Empty Promises.

This time, instead of freaking out, I shut down. By the time cops came and the Prince family next door had noticed my mother's screams and my father's desperate attempts to calm her down, I was unable to speak. I think with what, finding a dead body with a heart missing, then finding out that someone had killed her for you and left her heart in a cooler on your doorstep and all, I had a right to expirience some crippling shock. Even Gage couldn't get me to speak. Normally, If Gage asked me to anything, I would do it or die trying. I loved him.

He owned every single part of my existence, mind, body, soul, and heart. If there was a limit to what I would do for him, I hadn't found it yet. He could snap his fingers, and I was his. That used to terrify me to the core, but I had accepted that he had an enormous amount of control over me long ago. Gage, being the kind, considerate, wonderful person that he was, had never asked me for much. Only my friendship. Never anything more than friendship. There were moments I thought he may want something more from me, something I was ready and willing to give him, but he never asked. At most, he gave me half-clues and cryptic mutterings. I wasn't going to ruin a perfectly good friendship if he didn't look me directly in the eye and tell me he wanted me as much, much more than a friend. He never had.

I loved Gage, and would take him any way I could get him, even if it wasn't in the way I so desperately craved. However, I had other cravings. I wanted companionship. I wanted affection. I wanted love. Maybe Eathan was my best shot at finding out what a proper relationship with someone was? I loved Gage and always would, but maybe it was time to accept that he didn't love me and move on to find someone who I could love that would return the feeling for a chang. Even so, I was a long way away from not being the pathetic love-struck that would do anything for him.Then why couldn't he get me to speak? These were the things running through my mind as Gage screamed at me over and over again to say something.

"Damn it, talk to me!" He screamed, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me, but to no avail. I didn't even bother making eye contact. 

I did nothing.

"I promised I wouldn't shut you out, but you can't do that to me either, Zoey.  I'm here for you. So just let me talk to you! Please, Zoey, say something. Anything!" Gage begged me, even going so far as to give me his signature boyish grin and puppy-dog eyes. But once again, his happy-go-lucky look fell off his face when I failed to respond, yet again.

Honey was by my side, whimpering at me now and again. Like she knew how sad I was and wanted to be sad with me. She was a good dog. I stroked her fur, vainly trying to comfort the both of us while Gage begged me to speak and my parents spoke to police for the second time tonight, sending me worried glances now and again.

"Zoey. Is there anything I can do?" For the first time, I made eye contact with Gage. Wordlessly, I held out one of my hands, stroking my nervous German Shepard with my other. 

Gage took my hand, stroking it softly. Thankfully, he'd stopped screaming at me. Now, I may never have the privilege of being his girlfriend, but I was his best friend. I would always have this. Maybe that would be enough.

As a young blonde-haired blue-eyed officer who looked fresh out of the academy came up to ask me questions, finally, I simply gave him an empty look, knowing Gage well enough to guess he would step in for me.

"I'm sorry, officer," Gage squinted at his clip."Coleman, but she hasn't spoken. Not to her parents, not to me. You aren't going to get anything out of her tonight, I'm afraid." Gage informed him, proving me right. Gage was always the gentleman. You could always count on him for support in times like these. Just one more reason to love him.

"Okay, miss Castro. I'll just give you my card in case you remember something. We're taking the cooler to the precinct lab for forensics. But I'm sure you have a guess as to who the organ belongs to, don't you?" Officer Coleman spoke in a good-ole-boy country accent bluntly, as most Officers here did, handing me a card as he finished.

I looked it over. Officer Derek Coleman, it read. I sat it down, proceeding to pet Honey once again.

"Are you finished, Officer?" Gage inquired politely, but obviously asking him to leave.

"Just one more thing. I'd bet you have a guess as to who's heart is in that thing over there. I'd also bet you have not one clue about why they left it for you or who left it. Sometimes, though, people in your position have a lot more information than they think they do. If you figure something out, you call me right that second. This monster is out there, and I think it's safe to say he's got a thing for you, but he's still dangerous. Give me a ring, and the whole APD will be there for you. Okay, miss Castro?" Coleman suggested.

I thought about it. Did I really know more than I thought? I doubted it.

Coleman, my parents, and Gage all looked at me, expecting some sort of reaction to the words. I gave not a single sign of hearing them. After about ten ridiculously tense seconds of expectant stares, I finally opened up my mouth and spoke four words no one expected me to say.

"Can I get tacos?" Even the officers talking to my parents turned around and looked at me like I was mental. Well, I felt pretty insane at the moment, so I couldn't really blame them.

"Tacos?" My mother echoed disbelievingly.

"They're her favorite comfort food. Hard shell, beef, extra lettuce and cheese, with olives on the side. Churro for dessert. Zoey likes Mexican when she's nervous." Gage explained helpfully. I smiled and proceeded to keep comforting Honey,

Even if I couldn't have Gage, even if he never wanted me like I wanted him, I would still have friendship. I could survive with his friendship. Maybe I could slowly wean myself of my Gage addiction with Eathan. He always seemed to make me feel like we were the only two people in the entire world. He made me forget everything bad that happened to me. The only thing I craved more than a nice crunchy taco was his company.

But tonight, I was going to promise myself something. I was in love with Gage, always would be. I'd made a lot of sacrifices for him, ones he didn't even realize I made. So I was going to stop. Eathan deserved a chance with me. A fair one. That meant that I would have to distance myself from Gage to give him a fair shot. Otherwise, I would just pass up a great guy for one who didn't know I loved him so much it hurt.

I craved tacos, because Gage and I went out to this little Mexican place called Roberto's, and got tacos there. We didn't do it as much now, but from time to time we went there and talked about everything under the sun, and I enjoyed just being with him. I craved tacos, because I wanted to share one last taco with Gage.

Because after tonight, I promised myself I would force myself to forget that I loved Gage Prince more than I loved life itself. It couldn't be that hard, right? But try as I might, I coudn't force any more words out that night, and I never left Honey's side, and I couldn't get those words to feel like the truth.

"I promise that I will stop loving Gage Prince. It won't be hard."

That vow I'd made, was nothing more than an empty promise.

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This was a total filler chapter, but I felt it was needed to help you all understand Zoey a lot better. I'll try and update again soon guys. Sorry for being so terrible at it. Writer's block has really been kicking my butt, ya know?

~Mage