you're not alone, you're with me *~being edited~*

chapter thirteen

Ethan's P.O.V

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Something changed after that day with Austin. I found myself happier when I was at school. Mainly to see Austin but it was nice to know I had become closer with Mae, Jaime, Vic and Tony. Mike seemed to be more interested in other females than me but I knew we were still friends. But he would give Austin and I weird looks every now and then. Not that I minded but it was very strange.

"Ethan, hey you alright?" Jaime's energetic voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I remembered I was in school. Lunch time to be exact. Tony, Jaime, Vic, Mae and Austin gave me a worried look.

"You seemed to be thinkin' pretty hard about something." Vic raised an eyebrow suspiciously "Sex I assume. Your face is bright red after all" he teased. I looked down at the lunch table awkwardly. My face was flushed and I felt really uncomfortable.

"Shut up." Austin snapped.

"I was just kidding calm yourself" Vic laughed nervously before taking another massive bite out of his taco. Austin was sitting next to me and I could just feel how angry he had gotten. Then again. He seemed to be quite snappy lately. If anyone ever mentioned sex he would jump down their throat in anger. I moved a little closer to him and rested my hand on his thigh. Nobody seemed to notice but Austin did calm down after a few minutes of me rubbing him. Nobody knew about our little fling we had going on because Austin insisted it wasn't important to anyone. I could understand that. Although we were all getting closer friendwise I wasn't prepared to tell anyone about Austin and I either. I was mainly afraid of their reactions.

"Hey, the bell's going to ring!" Mae said on the other side of me with cheer. Her and I become very close over the last few weeks. She was so accepting of me for who I was. I was glad to know she could actually accept me. Perhaps I could tell her about Austin. In due time.

"L-lets go over by the gym door." I offered and she nodded. We both stood up, saying our goodbyes to everyone then went by the large doors that lead to the gym. Mae was wearing a Pikachu hoodie, black short-shorts and a Black Veil Brides shirt. Usually I would hate scene girls but with Mae it felt different. I thought she looked great. Her usual cheerful self would cheer my day up almost instantly.

"So, how's your day going?" she asked with a smile.

"Good. No, g-great actually." I smiled back

"Anything from Brian?" she asked kinda angerily. I felt my arms tense up at the sound of his name. Brian hadn't touched me since that first day. Hell, I don't even remember the last time I saw him. I looked down at my scarred over knuckle and shook my head

"N-no.." I tried to clear my mind of anything that had to do with him but that was easier said than done. Memories of that first day clouded my mind. He pushed me over the edge that day and I still couldn't believe I punched my locker. The dent was still there as a grave reminder that I didn't always have control over myself. But when Austin came up to me and brought me to his house, that had made me feel much better. I could've ignored him and just gone home but I'm sure I would end up cutting myself. My face felt flushed again at the memory of his lips against mine. They felt so perfect.

"Ethan! Hey, the bell rang." Mae tugged on my Bring Me The Horizon sweater and I quickly snapped out of it.

"Come on mr. thinks a lot. We're starting basketball." she rolled her eyes as she dragged me into the large gym. My stomach sank at the thought of doing anything physical like basketball. White people cannot play basketball, okay? I had to get out of here and quick. Fake stomach ache. Concussion from falling up the stairs. Have Mae break my leg. Something that can save me. ;___; I made my way into the boys locker room on the other side of the gym.

"Hey Ethan!" I looked up to see Vic in the locker room, half dressed. His skinny jeans were on the floor and he casually came up to me with a tank top and black boxers on. "How's it going? You need a locker?" he asked cheekily. I directed my attention to his body rather than his words. He was very muscular dispite his height and I felt my cheeks turn red. Vic was my friend, right, but I had the craziest idea right now of him fucking me. Leaning over me and thrusting repeatedly into me as I softly groan into a pillow. I shook my head. Nevermind that.

"Oh.. uh.... l-locker.. right.." I looked back up to his eyes and realized I haven't been in the gym locker room at all this year. Nor have I changed for gym. "Right! Y-y-yeah I n-need.. one of those.." I said quietly. He looked at me suspiciously but dismissed it with a shrug.

"Alright.. You can share with me for now." he said before going back by his stuff and putting on a pair of gray shorts. I took off my backpack and stood next to him as I nervously took out my gym clothes. Do I change in front of him? He did just talk to me in his underwear. No biggie. We're cool. Even if he was attractive as fuck and just as gay as me. Keep it in your pants Ethan.

I undid my belt and set it on the small bench in front of me. My pants came undone next and I let those fall to the floor. Vic sprayed on some deoderant, seeming to be minding his own business, until out of the corner of my eye I saw him staring at my ass. I should've said something but bit my tongue softly. It was fine. He wouldn't do anything or say anything about this. Neither would I. I know how big his ego is and if he was found checking out a scrawny loser like me, he would be teased forever. I put on my black gym shorts then took off my sweater. Luckily I was wearing a tank top underneath it but you could see how awkwardly thin I was. I'm not anorexic or anything but I wasn't muscular like Austin or Vic.

"I'll uh... see you out there.." Vic mumbled and brushed past me before going out to the gym. I let out a soft sigh of relief. Wait. Was he blushing before he left? I could've sworn.. Nevermind. It wasn't important. Vic didn't like me or anything. He was just checking me out. Harmless. Except now I feared that perhaps it wasn't harmless. Ah well. I'll never know for sure until Vic confessed his love or something. No use in worrying over something stupid.