All in my Head

Chapter 5

Ava's POV

I listened to Kacie blab about how drunk she was last night for what felt like a year and a half, finding solace only in the fact that Jul and I caught each other's eyes and made a face as she walked by. As Julianna makes her way by my desk again, likely returning from the bathroom, she swings by and saves me from another round of Kacie's chatter. She claims there's a great view from her desk, so I agree to go check it out. Great view indeed, I think to myself as I glance over to the second cluster and catch sight of Jonah.

As we approach his desk area, though, I hear Caramel Evan say to Jonah, "Yeah, that Kacie girl's pretty hot isn't she?" I freeze for an instant, though I continue to nod in agreement to whatever Jul is saying to me. When Jonah doesn't respond, I take his silence to be an agreement. I try not to let this bother me - I mean for Christ's sake I've not even officially met Jonah one-on-one - but already I feel like I've just lost this summer's battle.

"Yeah, so I was originally supposed to be sitting there," Julianna says, gesturing towards the desk Caramel is currently occupying. "...but then Evan has some paralyzing fear of heights apparently and wanted to switch," she says just soft enough that Evan wouldn't hear her. "But I mean, really, I think I lucked out. Look at how amazing this view is," she says excitedly, heading over to the window.

I take a step forward and am absolutely blown away by how clearly I can see the entire city. We stand there in silence for a moment, simply taking in the breathtaking view. As I mindlessly play with the latch on the window, I'm reminded of one of my favorite stories to tell.

I turn to Jul. "Wanna hear the worst first day story ever?" I ask her, laughing already.

When she nods in agreement, I dive right in. "My one older brother started this big fancy corporate job last year after he graduated from school, and they had pretty big windows like this too. And so on his first day, my brother, Luke, had a little free time because clearly first days have some downtime," I say gesturing to all of us interns moseying around our new desk area, patiently awaiting further direction from Leslie. Jul laughs, making me smile in return. "So he's messing with the window and I guess there must have been some type of hinge or something connecting the two window panes and there was this little piece attached to it that was shaped like a circle, right?" I say, taking a breath. "And so for whatever reason, my idiot brother unconsciously sticks his finger in the circle and it gets freaking stuck!" I say, making Jul laugh out loud now. "So he starts freaking out and calls over the only other new employees there, two other frat dudes straight out of college. So the three of them are bumbling like idiots, making a total scene," I say smiling and laughing as I do so, feeling like I'm in my element. "Long story short, they had to call the paramedics in because his finger was too swollen to ever slide back through at that point. They eventually got it out using these crazy metal cutter," I say, finally concluding.

"Oh my God, you're kidding me," Jul says still laughing.

"No, and the worst part is, they had to cut out the whole piece my brother's finger was stuck in, so they ended up having to replace the entire window. So for like a week after the incident, anyone who even walked by was reminded of the one stupid new employee who had managed to cause a few hundred dollars in damage within the first three hours at his new place."

"Wow. I mean, truly incredible," Jul says with a small laugh, genuine entertainment in her voice.

In a quiet moment that is surprisingly comfortable for two people who don't know each other very well yet, Jul and I both casually check our phones. As I lazily lean against Jul's desk, I take some time to respond to a few snapchats. I barely pay attention to the 20 or so snaps that have piled up over the course of the morning in my group snapchat, instead finding myself glancing out of the corner of my eye at Jonah. He's also fiddling with his phone, rapidly texting someone while simultaneously holding a conversation with good old Caramel Eyes. I can't help but imagine he must be texting his girlfriend. She's probably some super hot fitness model/fashion guru with 300k followers on instagram who just can't get enough of her skin care routine and too beautiful to be real pictures of acai bowls from whatever tropical island she's being paid to visit this week. Ugh.

But I shake this thought from my mind, reminding myself that it doesn't matter who he's dating anyways because it simply doesn't effect me in any way. I barely even know this dude, so why would I even let myself feel any spark of jealousy at all. It's just unrequited lust, I remind myself. I'm constantly torn between thinking I should go make something happen and simply letting things be as they are.

"Ok guys, let's move on to our next presentation!" I hear Leslie cheerfully announce from the third cluster. I resist the urge I have to roll my eyes, only to catch Kacie blatantly doing so as she approaches Jonah once more. Now I really have to fight my eyes who are desperately trying to give any sort of physical sign of my annoyance as I watch Kacie practically pounce on Jonah. Instead of being a bitch, I take a deep breath and release my frustration, following in step behind Leslie.