Tales From Thedas: Dragon Age One Shots

Title, Tool, Legacy

"I don't understand Dorian."

"Kaffas!" Dorian swore, nearly choking on the wine he'd just swallowed as Cole appeared at his elbow. "I've told you over a dozen  times not to do that."

"Do what Dorian?"

"That... that sneaking up on me thing you do."

"I didn't mean to. Footsteps fall but don't falter, I'm trying to be more here than there. I thought you could hear me. I seem so loud now."

"Ugh." Dorian growled, downing a gulp of wine. He'd hoped to have a few moments to himself without scrutiny. But if Cole was here, that hope was now dashed. At least for the immediate future. "Well perhaps until you're a bit louder, you could try catching a person's eye first so they can see you coming."

"I've made you angry. I didn't mean to make you angry."

Dorian sighed. "No, no it's all right. I'll get over it. Just my sanity at stake, nothing important."

"Now you're cross."

"Yes I'm cross but not with you. Not exactly. Now if you insist on sitting here, be a good lad and fetch me another wine and I promise I will do my best to help you understand whatever is that's bothering you."

"Really? I can ask you anything Dorian?"

"I have to admit I'm curious about you."

Cole beamed. "And I'm curious about you as well. Thank you Dorian. I'll get the wine now."

Dorian watched Cole disappear down the stairs of the tavern and stared into his empty goblet. "I think I'm going to regret this." He murmured to himself.

----xxx----

"Wanting, wishing, doubting. Alone, lonely, cold like an icy wind. Why doesn't he see me?"

Dorian sighed and swallowed more wine. "I appreciate you wanting to help Cole, but that was not a question."

"It's a hurt you hold tight. Close to your heart, to protect, to remind.  But it doesn't help it only hurts more. Why do you do that?"

"Because it's better than hoping."

"You're lying Dorian. You know it's not better. You thought that if your father could just see you, everything would be better. But it wasn't better."

"No it wasn't." Dorian sighed. "It was so much worse."

"A title, a pawn, a tool. Not his son, not someone who loves him. Altus. You are altus Dorian and you will do your duty to this family!" Cole growled in an almost perfect imitation of his father.  

Tears sprang to Dorian's eyes. The memory of that day still vivid, the pain he'd felt still raw, still lurking under the surface of his flippant words, his sarcasm and wit. Hiding his true nature, his heart too big to survive the coldness of his homeland and his role as altus.

"He saw you that day and then you wished he hadn't."

"I'm not hearing a question Cole." Dorian grumbled, wishing he could disappear into the floorboards of the tavern.

"Why won't you let him see you Dorian?"

Dorian's head hurt, lost in his memories of his father, he couldn't follow Cole's train of thought. "What? Who are you talking about?"

"The Inquisitor Dorian. Why do you hide from him?"

"I'm not hiding from him Cole. In fact we talk rather often."

"But it's not you. It's not what you want him to see and you want  him to see you."

"It's... complicated."