Blade~{Kuroo x reader}

19

*drumroll* I'm back for this chapter kidos! Surprise! It's been 3 years. My writing style may have change, so sorry if that bugs you a bit. But now for the the chapter you all have been waiting for.                                                                                                                                                                      --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I get into my work outfit, flatting out all the wrinkles so I look presentable, and walk back out to the cafe's main area. Seeing that the manger hasn't come back yet, I grab a chair and sit so that I'm crossing my legs and leaning back.

Time only seemed to slow down as everyone stayed in the same conversation with the same people standing in the same place. I lean forward putting my weight into my elbows as a sigh escaped my lips.

'I'm a hypocrite,' I smile lightly at myself. I run my hands through my hair as my eyelids softly close shut.

All of a sudden the bell chimes making me- involuntary- whip my head back up. As my eyes sync to the door I see the manger standing there with a bright smile and a sunshiny aura around her figure. 

"Hello everyone! Sorry to keep you waiting," She did a simple bow before walking straight to the counter.

Her smile was beaming as you noticed that the sun had come out form the clouds and had lit up the cafe with a warm aura. As everyone smiled and greeted her, I felt a new feeling crack through my dull and mundane emotion.

It was hope. 

Maybe it was some new revelation in my mind or something clicked because, for once since my depression had kicked in, I felt truly at peace. Happy, sure, but at peace was the best way I could describe. I felt like everything I had done in the passing weeks was washed away and a part of me rekindled. I felt almost normal and better than I ever have, and the truth is I don't know why. But for once this feeling wasn't forced or sarcastic, it was natural and pure. 

But as she walked past me, I feel out of the little trance. I stood up and went to work, but not without a quick breath. I couldn't even notice the smile that had grown on my face, but she did. Sana saw the light in my eyes for the first time and she loved it. 

But work still had to be done.

~time skip~

My shifted ended at nine pm like usual. And as always, I was tired like hell. My mind had been jumbled with the thoughts of the moment earlier and last night with Kuroo. There was no one thought that stuck, they were all just floating around like clouds. 

You packed up to leave and went up to the roof, to think about everything. You sat at the ledge of the building that you had many times though about jumping off. But this time, there wasn't a trace of thought in your head, serenity taking it's place. It was new but it was welcomed. 

The city streets filled with people and cars were bustling like usual, but from this height, it was calming background noise. The darkening sky were now kissed with glimmering stars, making out a few constellations but I wasn't focused on that. It was my train of though that was grabbing my attention the most. 

It felt like I was coming off a high, that moment being the drug, and it provoked thoughts I never had thought of. 'Will things be okay?'

Life had become rocky for me, yes. Depression had kicked my ass since that fateful day. With all the pitch black fog, I never thought to look to the light, but why? Maybe I was dazed by the pain that I never sought relief. Maybe it was fear of harming others with my mental state or the fear that being vulnerable would make me less of a person. But the moment I felt okay, that I could live again, I felt a surge of want for people. The realization that I don't want to be lonely and live without people was heartbreakingly needed and I found it.