Blade~{Kuroo x reader}

6

You did the same silent treatment the next day and then came Friday. You thought you felt better because you weren't having the nightmares but rather no dream. You just felt blank. You wanted to feel pretty so you put on your uniform as usually, but you also put on foundation, blush, winged eyeliner, mascara, and put your hair in a braided ponytail. You felt better at how you looked, you thought you looked better than your ugly self. 

You went to Nekoma high school (which is the school you go to) and started to feel stares on you. You heard some whispers like 'she look good' and 'she pretty like i'd date that' or some from girls like 'how have we never seen her. she so pretty'. You mentally kinda like that people noticed you but at the same time hated it. But you still stayed quiet in class but some guys came up to you and made small talk during break.

~time skip~
You still didn't go to the boys practice. Well you didn't even talk to them. You just felt so insecure about yourself that you didn't want  them to see you and ask if your okay. While walking with Sophia you didn't pay attention to what she was saying because it was the same old same old. 

Till she asked you "hey, why don't you go to the boys practices any more? You use to be so happy when you did go."

"I guess I just got busy with homework and stuff and just didn't want them to get distracted by me or something." You half told her the truth.

"Okay but just remember I'm here for you and so is everyone else" Sophia said in a Sad tone

"Ya, if you say so" you mumbled and keep walking till you got to your house. you waved to Sophia and she waved back, walking away.

 you went to your room and sat on your bed. your brother wasnt home yet, so you put on music and Cake by Melanie Martinez came on. you wanted to try something you swore you never do...... cut. you swore  you never cut after what happen to your sister but you wanted to feel what pain was and not this empty feeling.

 You grab the pocket knife, locked the door, and sat criss cross and started to cut your right arm. the first slice wasnt deep, not deep enough to bleed, just a scratch. but you felt it burn a little but..... you felt it. you felt something, unlike what you feel everyday. it was a feeling you never felt in a long time, not even when a volleyball hits your arms. you felt a tear fall down you cheek. one after another, you cut around 20 cuts, none were bleeding. but you stopped when she heard the front door open and close. you just turned off your music and put your knife down. she curled up and silently cried. 'maybe this is why she did it. she felt hurt but no one helped.' You thought about your sister and her pain. 

You got up and went to go take a shower. You passed your brother with out a word but he grabbed your left wrist, luckily. He looked worried.

"Something up. Tell me what going on." Blake said in a soft demanding voice.

"Im okay just a little down." You lied. You did this a lot lately.

"Im not taking 'okay' for answer. please I dont want to lose you the same way we lose sis." He pestered. You wanted to cry but you sniffed it up.

"Fine I feel a little depressed okay. I'll be fine if you leave me alone" You pulled your arm out of his grasp and went to take a shower. You heard him speak to someone but ignored it. You took a long shower, letting the warm water drown your feelings. You got out, got dressed, and went to your room only to be surprised to see Kuroo and Kenma. In your room. You turn to face your brother.

"I called them over for you talk to about what going on. I know you think I hate them but you trust them and they take care of you. I hate seeing like this, so please let them help." Blake said hugging you.

You turn to the boys and close the door, you spoke first.

"Sorry my brother bothered you to come over here." You say look down but you felt arms around you. Kenma.

"We were worried about you. Why dont you tell us whats going now? We really miss you because you even talk to us." Kenma said in a sad/mad tone.

"Im sorry I just feel....different right now." You said and started to cry. Kuroo was watching all of it go down. He felt like something was missing without you and hurt in jealousy when others boys would talk to you. But he never knew why the jealousy came in that equation but it did.

Kenma let go of you and wiped the tears away. That night you guys just watch 'the devil is a part timer' together, which made you laughed at, you felt like it been awhile since you've done that. Kuroo and Kenma were still worried about you but seeing you happy made them at ease. You keep the cuts hidden from them with a long sleeve shirt. You were leaning on Kuroo when you fell asleep. You felt protected and comforted when you leaned in to him, making him put an arm around your fragile looking body. You felt warm around him, which confused you to hell but you didnt care at this point.