Shadows of My Past

Chapter 12

I haven't left the house in over a week. Damian refuses to let me.

Clay offered to take care of me while Damian's out looking for a job.

So far, nothing.

I haven't been sleeping.

Not day, not night.

I'm locked in the miniscule chamber of white walls, beige floors, and a king sized bed.

I often sit there, knees to my chest, staring. Thinking.

I've decide that I think way too much.

Whenever I look out my Windows, I see shadows. And then, they disappear.

Just like that.

Every night.

For seven days.

Am I going crazy? Paranoia?

God only knows.

I hear a knock on the door and my head jerks up.

"Phoebe?"

Clay.

He opens the door part way.

"How are you feeling?"

"Perfect."

He enters and sits quietly next to me on the bed.

"What's been happening?"

"I think I'm going crazy."

"Its normal to feel that way, Phoebe. To be honest you're handling the whole thing a lot better than I expected."

"Seeing things is normal to you?"

"Well in this case, yes. Very normal."

I groan and lay back on my pillow.

"I can't sleep. I can't eat. All I can do is think. I'm over thinking everything. My father use to do that."

Before he stopped thinking completely.

"You never talk about your parents. Or your family."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"C'mon, there has to be something."

I start thinking again.

I'm an only child. No siblings. No aunts, no uncles, cousins, grandparents, no close family friends that I know of.

My mom is dead.

My dad is dead.

I shake my head. "Nope. Nothing."

He sighs and shakes his head as well. "My dad died from cancer when i was 10. My mom couldn't handle it; couldn't handle me. She left the country when I was 11. Lived with grandma until I was 16. 3 years later, here I am."

"Do you have a job?"

"I work at the supermarket. Pays me well enough I guess."

"How old are you now?"

"19... one day, I hope to move out of the U.S. I've always wanted to live in Paris. Maybe I can start a family of my own. I would be the best father I can possibly be."

"But... if you don't have a lot of money, then why would you take us in?"

He half grinned. "It's rude to leave a damsel in distress waiting."

"Ha. Ha." I laughed and slapped his arm.

We sat there for a while, thinking. But it wasn't a painful thinking. Not with Clay. He was... different.

What am I saying? I don't even know him...

Yet, something is telling me differently...

"Hey," he snapped me out of my trans. "c'mon. We need to get you out of this room and into the open air."

I groaned, but reluctantly hobbled out of bed and followed him out to his car.

"Where are we going?"

"You need a little happy right now. I'm gonna show you how to have fun." He smiled gently and pulled out of the apartment complex.

And off we went.

*~*

I think I fell asleep on the way to .... wherever Clay was taking me...

But when I looked out the window, everything was... well, happy.

The first things I noticed were Sycamore trees. The branches stretched from one tree to the next, grabbing a hold of each other.

Like a family.

A baby white tail deer sniffed a sunflower; then sneezed and landed on its backside.

But behind the flowers and the animals, and in between the trees, there was a small river.

And it was alive.

Schools of fish, turtles, ducks, greeting one another as they passed by.

"Woah." I was breathless.

Clay and I shut the doors and walked carelessly around the open filed.

"Having fun yet?" he teased.

"Mmmm... almost"

"Sorry, but that's gonna have to change to a yes."

I feel myself being lifted off the ground as Clay throws me over his shoulder and runs towards the lake.

"Clay! Put me down! I can run perfectly on my own." Screaming, he finally puts me down, but we're already by the lake.

He swiftly tanks off his t shirt and cannonballs into the river.

"Get in the water!"

"In these?! You're insane!"

Before I could object any longer, he grabbed my arm and pulled me into the water with him.

"What the hell is your problem!"

But one look at him, and I couldn't help bursting into laughter. He took that opportunity to dunk us both underwater and we were soon in the middle of a splashing war.

I forfeited soon after Clay claimed he "won", and we layed together on the grass. He made sure to keep me close to him.

Almost like he was trying to form a barrier between us and the world.

Pressed against his chest, I could smell his scent; it was sweet. Harmless. And I listened to his steady heart rate. His breathing.

I felt like I could trust him. Finally, one more person I could add to the list.

"Thank you." I whispered against his body.

He looked down at me, his blonde hair pushed to the side. His eyes, his perfect stare engulfing me entirely.

I didn't know what this feeling was.

But I didn't care.

For the first time in a long time, I knew what it was like to have fun.