Shadows of My Past

Chapter 20

I woke the next morning exhausted and drained. Sitting up right the pain in my head and stomach immediately flooded over me and I collapsed back down into the bed.

I shrieked in agony when a large weight was thrusted on top of me. Two child arms wrapped tightly around my neck.

I smiled with relief. "Hey Ava."

She tightened her embrace on me. My cheeks became wet with her tears.

God, why does everyone keep crying over me?

"Phoebe please don't do this. Please I need you. You're like my mommy, cuz I've never had a mommy. But now you're my mommy. I love you Phoebe. Please don't leave me." She stared up at me , plead behind her eyes.

My heart ached for this girl. It all happened so fast; too fast for my taste. Finding her, escaping, taking her under my wing, without a breath to be taken.

But I knew from the moment I met her, I had to help her; to love for her.

If only I wasn't selfish enough to let her go.

I cupped her chin in my hand. But i couldn't promise her anymore. I couldn't promise anyone anymore. My promises were broken and held no meaning.

So instead I smiled, and said, "No matter what happens, I will always love you Ava."

Because at this point, that was the only promise i could stay true to.

The nurse entered then to give me my afternoon medication. Ava hopped off the bed and into the waiting room with Clay. She turned away to count out the pills; one for pain, one for anxiety, and one to keep me from killing myself.

When she faced me again, pills in hand, a different face replaced hers.

My father's.

Souless eyes watched me gaurdedly as his outstretched arm handed me my medication. I tossed them into my mouth and swallowed.

His grin grew crooked.

I felt a metallic taste rise in the back of my throat. I hurled foward as blood began spewing from my mouth, my ears, my nose. My eyes rolled back in my head as the red liquid oozed from the sockets.

His laugh was wicked and blood continued to gush from my body.

He poisoned me.

I turned my head towards my father and growled. A hand flailed at me, throwing me downward into the bed.

It felt like hours I laid still, afraid of the pain that my next movement might cause me. But I was still screaming; my wails were the only sound piercing the air.

I flinched when a cold finger touched my shoulder. I looked up. My head had been shoved into the pillow, but there was no blood on the sheets. Or the floor. I raised my hand to my cheek.

Dry. No red.

The nurse was still next to me, but her hands no longer contained my pills.

"I need to take my pills."

She stared at me in horror. "Honey, you just took them."

"No I didn't.. there's no blood."

"You took your pills.. you started growling.. and when I tried to coax you to calm down, you screamed at me and threw yourslef into the pillow."

I must've looked just as horrified. My father wasn't really here. I had imagined it.

"Phoebe... what did you see?"