Shadows of My Past

Chapter 8

Day one.

We've been running for 16 hours. All we have with us is each other and the clothes on our backs. And all we knew was that we had to get out of Chicago.

To be honest, I'm scared. I'm scared of the world, of the people inside it, of the places I'll go, and what I might find along the way.

But Damian convinced me to believe that we'll fight the battle together. Like, the prince and the princess slaying the dragon.

But where are we supposed to go from here? Do we try to forget our pasts and start over? Start our own families and hope that our children don't live through the same tragedies that we did? Is that my fate? To hide from my pain, from my defeat?

The sun's beginning to set and the temperature is dropping. Running away in November was mot my smartest idea.

The pair of sneakers I grabbed before bolting out the door are starting to fall apart from the muck and rocks we've been trudging through. My hair is a lion's mane, uncontrollably frizzy and wild. Damian's t-shirt is soaked with sweat and it's clinging to my chest. And by this time, I'm shaking so hard I'm convinced my whole body will shut down at any given second.

In case you haven't gotten the point, let me sum it up for you.

Running away. Sucks.

"Why don't we take a break? I can't stand to see you so miserable." Damian led me over to a tree stump and I eagerly sat down. I placed my head on his shoulders and closed my eyes.

"What if things don't change? What if we can't find a home, or a job? I mean, my dad pulled me out of middle school 'cause he didn't trust me, and you dropped out of high school because you thought it pointless. I learned everything I know from you. But what if that isn't good enough?"

"Phoebe, I will get us through this. You will live the happiest life a 17 year old could have, even if I can't be apart of it. I promise."

His sincerity made my heart sink.

"You will get a good-paying job. You will marry a man who treats you like a princess. You will have children and be a wonderful mother. You will grow old and die happily. You will forget all about the horrible things your father has put you through your whole life. And if anyone tries to get in the way of your perfect life, I will make sure that they know what a living hell feels like."

I stifle a laugh. "And what if this 'perfect life' you have planned for me turns out to be another twisted fantasy?"

"Well if all goes wrong, you will at least have me. And if I have to, I will marry you myself." Gracefully scooping me from the stump, Damian hugs me close to his chest and Ipull his forehead to mine.

"Why are you doing this for me? Why risk your life to save mine? If you really tried, you would have the capability to achieve so much in life. But instead you stayed behind to pity me and drag yourself into my mess. Your like my desperate excuse for an escape from reality and I love you more than anything for that. But no matter how many times you come to my rescue, I will never understand how I'm worth any of this."

He slides a finger onto my cheek and catches a tear.

Wow. I hadn't even realized I'd been crying...

"How can you be so beautiful and have so much potential, but tear yourself down so easily?"

My mind flashes back to my fifth grade graduation. I spun around my room feeling like the most beautiful girl in the world. My ruffled aqua dress fell just below my knees, and my long brown hair was pinned half way up. I was wearing an emerald diamond necklace that was mother's. I felt like a part of her should be with me when I received my graduation certificate.

She would've been proud of me.

I rushed out of my room hoping to run into my dad so I could impress him with my work. And boy, did I find him.

On the way into the living I slipped on a piece of glass, obviously from a broken beer bottle.

"Watch it you little brat! I don't want you breaking my stuff." He shoved me out of the way and took another swig of his liquor.

I stood there gaping, hurt by my father's words. He had made it crystal clear, multiple times, that he would never think highly of me no matter how hard I tried. I'm so used to his constant drunken complaints about me being a "disappointment" that I started to naturally zone him out. Time past and I finally learned to stick up for myself, do things for myself; even if it meant getting a beating from time to time. Sometimes you don't have time to think whether the pain is worth it or not.

I snapped back to reality when I realized Damian was still waiting for an answer to his question.

"How can you be so beautiful and have so much potential, but tear yourself down so easily?"

"I... guess there's just so much pain that one heart can take." And now I know just how true that statement is.

And with no words further spoken, I wrapped Damian's hands around mine and we carried on with our journey into the city.