Shadows of My Past

Chapter 15

I wasn't ready to face Damian.

Not yet.

But as I approached the front door, I knew there was no way out of it.

I knocked, expecting the worse.

Damian answered the door.

He took one glance at me; then looked at the child cowering behind my leg.

When he looked back up at me, his expression was blank. Just like paper. Not a single emotion was shown.

But the next thing he did...

he simply walked right back inside.

I could hear a slam from the back of the apartment as I entered inside. Clay appeared out of nowhere and threw his arms tightly around me.

Something was very wrong with this picture.

"Phoebe what happened to you! You were gone for 28 hours."

He paused and slowly turned his head towards Ava. "And... either I'm going completely insane right now, or there really is a redheaded child standing in my living room."

I took Ava's hand and pulled her out from behind me.

"Ava this is Clay. Clay, little Ava."

Clay sunk down onto his knees and shook Ava's hand.

"Nice to meet you little Ava. Are you going to be staying with us?"

She nodded, and Clay looked back up at me.

"Ava, do you mind if Phoebe and I have a quick chat? You can go sit on the couch if you'd like."

When she was out of earshot, Clay looked back at me and folded his arms across his chest, expecting an explanation from me.

I started from when I left that night, and why I left in the first place. And I told him every detail, including Ava's story.

By the time I was finished, i relaized I was shaking. Buck wasn't finished with me yet. He would be coming after me, but this time he won't be as stupid. Who knows how many people he's been associating with? I have to keep myself safe, and Ava.

But they could also hurt Damian and Clay if I'm not careful enough.

Clay was speechless. He stood there for a minute, taking in the story. He knew he was screwed for what he'd gotten himself into, and was probably thinking of a way he could peacefully escape the mess.

But whatever he was thinking, all that was said, "so the child... youre keeping her?"

"I guess I am."

"Phoebe. Im not running a fricking orphanage. Im already putting enough on my plate right now. Please try not to make all this more difficult than it needs to be."

"Look at her Clay. You heard her background story. She's a younger, more alive version of me. We're both scared. Hell, we're all scared. And I can't apologize enough for bringing this into your life. I know this isn't how you imagined spending it. But I'm also so thankful that I met you because if I hadn't, I would only have one person to trust in my life. Damain. and he's trying to cope as well. We're both on the edge. So thank you, and I am so, so sorry."

He replied with a half-smile. "I'm glad you're ok."

"Me too." and that couldnt be more true.

For now.

* * *

I opened the door to the bedroom. Damian was sitting on the bed, his head staring up at the ceiling.

"You're not going to ask what happened?"

His head snaps towards me. "I ask you to do one thing. Stay in the apartment. Was that really so much to ask of you?"

"How do you know I left?"

"I was awake when I heard you leave the room."

I stared down at my hands. I knew he was disappointed. Angry. Frustrated.

"I'm sorry, Damian."

"I dont know what you expect from me."

" I'm not expecting anything you haven't already been doing. I've been a bitch; only thinking about myself. I'll try harder from now on. I promise."

I didn't dare make eye contact with him. But I could hear his deep breathing.

"You're all I have left Phoebe. I can't lose you too." his voice was hard, but defeated.

Cautious I looked up at the helpless boy sitting in front of me. God, I really have been selfish. I can't imagine how hard it is for him to constantly be worrying about me; how hard it is for him to not let go of me completely.

"I'm not going anywhere Damian. I just want you to trust me."

His head turned. "Trust is earned. I cant give it to you unless I know you can handle it. So make me a promise: We work through this together. And only together."

I didnt hesitate. I reached across the empty space bewtween us and kissed him, concealing the promise.

It was either both of us, or none of us.

Take it, or leave it.