"So...I'm uh...I'm bisexual." Tris explained to his mother who was stood in front of us in the living room of Tris' family home, she was tearful and kept glancing at our hands, as if she was trying to work out why l. "...Mum please don't cry." Tris looked at his mother with pleading eyes, his hand staying firmly in mine, me staying quiet and staying a spectator, knowing she'd rather it that way than me trying to talk for Tris.
"...Its just- it's such a shock, I didn't see it coming." She sniffed "I'm sorry, I'm being silly, I'm proud of you and happy for you." She forced a smile, pushing her own feelings aside for her son, which I admired.
"...Thank you." The blond smiled, pulling his hand away from me so he could wrap his arms around his mum "Thank you - so much,"
"It's the least I can do, Tris." She smiled to him "I'm just happy that you've finally found someone that makes you happy. And Brad as well, I'm happy for you - You can write songs for each other, that's a good way to get an album done isn't it." She grinned, wiping away tears from her eyelashes and cheeks before pulling away from the embrace her son had caught her in.
"Thanks." I smiled gratefully, thankful she was accepting of everything.
"Are you telling dad or do you want me to?" She asked us, Tris shrugging.
"I'll tell him, it's fine." He nodded "You were the one I was terrified about, and now that's out of the way, I'm sure dad will accept me as I am...Right?"
"Of course! We both love you enough to understand that you can't chose who you love, Tris. Especially since you're clearly old enough to know what you want, who you want more like." She hummed "You going out?" She asked, watching him put his jacket on a few moments later, both of us humming a yes before saying goodbye and heading out of the house.
"Just for a walk, yeah?" Tris smiled to me, his fingers wrapped around mine as he lead me towards the fields behind his family home.
"Yeah." I smiled "We can go and sit in a tree and be twelve again."
"Sounds gorgeous." The blond smiled, I could tell he was still awkward and it didn't feel natural yet, but I understood. We walked through a large farmers field, through the tall wheat, leaving a trail behind us, talking about nonsense and it was perfect.
We managed to find a tree to sit in (Tris having to give me a leg up to be able to climb as high as we did) and watched the world pass sitting on a branch, Tris having lit up a couple of cigarettes in the time, sharing them with me, feeling the burn in our lungs and sharing a small touch. It was all we needed, sometimes the world gets too hectic and you need to slow down, and this was one of those perfect moments to pull the brakes.
"You know, I never knew how badly I needed your fingers wrapped in my hair or your hand in mine, or how I needed a purpose so badly, until you told me you loved me." Tris whispered, taking a long drag after he spoke, not turning to look at me "I never knew how much I needed you."
I blushed and looked to the floor, then watching our feet as the dangled from where we were sat.
"I've always wanted that with you." I whispered quietly "Since I first met you. I tried to deal with it, but I was so fucked up over everything that's happened, I couldn't."
"I get that." He hummed "I still can't believe I never picked up you wanted to die so badly."
"Nobody does, it was a private thing, like everything else I felt." I admitted "Admitting to myself I had feelings was the most distressing thing I've ever done, let alone feelings for men, and then to say it out loud, it tore me apart."
"I get that." He hummed "Well, in here for you, anything you need to say, say it, because there's no point in keeping it away from me, I'd rather know you hated me than you try and cover it up."
"I don't hate you. I never have, I never will." I replied "I don't want anything more."
"Me either." He whispered "I've never felt this serious about anything before. But I'm serious about you. I want a future."
"Me too." I grinned "I've dreamt of moments like this, literally."
"...You know what, me too." He nodded
"...I wrote Another World about you." I admitted, feeling myself choke up at admitting something so personal, songs were a way I could remain anonymous, a way I could say how I felt without really admitting it.
"Fucking hell." My boyfriend swallowed hard "That songs so beautiful...And - And it's about me?"
"Mhm." I nodded, quietly beginning to sing the song quietly but replacing the pronouns with the original ones.
"Stop." He whispered "You're going to make me cry, I love that song."
"Just thought I'd tell you something, I know I'm pretty closed off." I shrugged.
"We all are, when you think about it." Tris replied, a soft frown on his face "Nobody knows everything about someone despite what they're lead to believe, there's parts of ourselves we never know. Fuck if it weren't for you I wouldn't know about this side of myself, the love tentative side, I just assumed love just wasn't as special as everyone made it out to be, or that people like me didn't feel it, but fuck, you kissed me and I felt it, I felt it so deep, I cried, I was so confused, it's overwhelming but in all the right ways. Bradley Will Simpson, I love you."
"I Love you too, Tristan Oliver Vance Evans." I smiled back, squeezing his hand as we watched the sun set.
History doesn't have to bother the future and the future is anything you make of it. It might take the worst year of your life for you to even see anything worth salvaging in yourself, but I promise you'll get there. I promise it'll all be okay.
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Lightbulb || Tradley
Fanfiction"I told you I loved you, you said 'what can I do?'" - Secrets are best kept alone, even when it tears you apart. Bradley Simpson is learning this the hard way, because sometimes things just don't work out the way you planned, and you have to recoll...
