Coming Alive

Chapter Eleven

Anastasia's POV

      I didn't know it could feel that good and I didn't just mean how Raven made my body feel the night after the party. It had been a couple weeks since then and with the start of October and the holidays breathing down our necks I was swamped with my things and the guys with theirs, but we still found time for each other even though there hasn't been any more intimate moments.

        Thinking about it again made me blush then sigh to myself reminding me I needed to talk to Sean about some things making a note to text him later I returned to my thoughts. The feelings of being wanted being needed being cared for were all foreign feelings that I was growing to love. What was more I was growing to care more deeply for each one of them the more they showed me themselves.

        Ravens tough exterior covered a soft pained soul that was almost childlike.  He's seen more destruction and death in his 23 years then I would put on anyone else. Being a professional Russian had major effects on his life including being taken away from his family at age 8. He found out later they were all executed by the mafia that took him from them. That was when he was 16 and the Academy found him. At that young age he was already one of the most lethal hit man in Russia.

         Brandon hated to seem weak or vulnerable and wanted so much to protect us all. He wanted to be the rock for everyone, but I knew he needed his own and I was more than happy to do that for him if he let me. He tried so hard to protect his twin especially from their parents, they were cruel people who still lived in Georgia neither had any interest in seeing the other. Corey my sweet Corey showed the most emotion and the most care for all of us, but he never felt that he was worth that same effort back. He always felt that he wasn't good enough.

        Axel put on this mask, but once you got passed his tall walls he was still the little boy who wanted to save everyone he came in contact with. His father was a terrible man who abused him and his mother who was related to a tribal elder. He removed them from the reservation away from everything she knew. It wasn't until the Academy stepped in that they were saved, his father is now serving a life sentence and his mother is safely back on her reservation in Colorado.

       Marc oh my brave faced hide it with humor Marc. He was dragged into gang life when he was only 14. It's amazing that he actually even survived his initiation being that young, but that didn't mean he does have reminders of it. He has a scar that runs from his upper shoulder blade on the right side down to his lower rib cage on the left side. Him and Brandon carried the most pain out of all my guys because they feel the most responsible for others happiness.

         Each fit with me like pieces to a beautiful puzzle. I was sitting down in the basement by myself the guys were doing recon on the mission they were working on so I took this time to watch avengers and to think. As I watched the scenes that Hawkeye was in it made me smile and think of my personal Hawkeye. God I missed them and it had only been a day since I've seen them. I knew it sitting there on my couch by myself at 10 o'clock at night that I was in love and I couldn't believe it. My hand twitched over my phone picking it up quickly pulling up my text conversation with Sang.

Me: Hey...are you busy?

Sang: No I'm just sitting with meanie on the couch watching a movie are you ok?

Me: Yeah I'm fine, better than fine actually I just needed to talk to you.

Sang: I'll be right over.

      I heard Sang's light foot steps coming down the stairs. Surprised that Gabriel had actually let her come by herself, but I'm sure she knew I needed to talk to her alone. "Hey baby sister come sit with me." I said softly as she walked over to the couch and plopped down next to me. "So tell me Ana what's going on? I'm kinda surprised you're alone actually." she giggled through her response which caused me to laugh. "Well you know I don't have as many as you do soooo..." she tinged pink at my smart remark then simply shrugged. "Seriously though Ana whats going on you ok?" she prodded "Well there's actually two things one simple one a bit more complex. First off do you know if Sean is working tomorrow?" "Yes he has the morning shift actually why?" "Well I know he had said before that he wanted me to get in for a physical especially with me starting on the Academy payroll next week and I wanted to talk to him about....erm....birth control." I whispered out the last part, but she heard me loud and clear. Her eyes widened and she broke out into giggles before saying"I think that's very smart of you Ana especially if you guys are thinking of taking those steps." I groaned audibly making her giggle more "Oh hush like you guys are completely all innocent and if you must know I'm just trying to be prepared. I actually haven't done much only some things with Raven." I blushed telling her. "The boys are respecting my pace, but no you're right we're not completely innocent..." she trailed off at the end, but I gave her a knowing smile. "Well maybe you should consider it too. You never know what could happen and it might take you a couple different tries to find one that agrees with you especially since we've been so far behind in the health care department." She blushed bright red, but nodded in agreement saying that we should go tomorrow and talk to Sean which was fine by me since it was Columbus Day.