Metanoia

two.

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two.

A Few Years Later

I woke up. This time, happy and not in the hospital, wrapped in bandages. I guess I should mention, that by the term happy I only mean it relatively. It's impossible to be completely happy waking up 6am on a dreadful rainy Monday. God knows I don't get a healthy amount of sleep for a 17 year old. Of course, comes the obstacle of hell disguised in what we call school, and I find myself grudgingly sliding out of my covers. Give me a round of applause, will you?

I admit, my intentions behind getting up wasn't exactly. The old Alyssa would've dreaded getting up every morning, not because she liked sheep - though she did, but because of being depressed, yet pretending to be fine.

I was in a dark place years ago. I kept all my emotions bottled up, which - according to my therapist was the worst thing I could've done at the time.

Bu I'm glad I somehow got myself together.

My uncle Jerry and aunt Melissa helped; they were undestanding people, and gave me love and encouragement, while their daughter - or my cousin - Delia became the most supportive, best friend one could ever ask for. In all, they really did help me, and for that I owe them my life. To be honest, I've never even met them before I commited suicide. When my parents died, the custody of me was automatically transferred to my widowed alcholic grandfather, seeing wither no one wanted me, and the only couple who did (my aunt and uncle) were financially unstable.

My grandfather was a stony faced man who never showed any emotion or love. Whenever I saw him, he was either too drunk to talk or snoring soundly in bed. Sometimes when he was in a bad mood, he even beat me up. I never told anyone, being in the fear of being thrown into an orphanage if my grandfather's custody of me was removed.

By the time I got admitted into the hospital for a severe loss of blood from stabbing my legs, Jerry and Melissa finally had a stable income, and were able to receive custody for me.

To be honest, I knew Jerry and Melissa didn't take me in out of love. They simply did it out of the kindness of their heart, though they've grown to love me, and vice versa. From what I've heard, Melissa and my mother were very close siblings from when they were little. I guess as Melissa and mum grew, and got married, they drifted apart.

Though I was ashamed of my cowardly act, I was, truth be told, glad I did it, I guess. If I didn't do that, I would've continued to live with grandpa John in misery. Jerry, Melissa, and Delia were three people I truly considered my family. I don't know what I would do without them.

I glanced at the picture of my dead family placed on my bedside table. I smiled sadly. I missed them horribly, and as much as I hated myself for feeling this way, not even my family could replace them.

"Wakey wakey Aly." A loud bubbly voice interrupted me out of my thoughts. I sat up, suddenly I started panicking. Shit, I had half an hour to get to school.

Delia laughed at my panicked face. "Don't worry, I got you covered." She threw an outfit onto my bed.

"Thanks. I guess you're not so bad," I said pretending to think.

"Wow, talk about grateful." She rolled her eyes, the corners of her lips tugging up. "I take my kindness back."

She reached her hand out to grab the outfit back.

I put a hand on her hand, stopping it.

"Fine, you're the bestest, just let me have it." I pouted, knowing it would take forever for me to pick an outfit. Seriously, I wish my school had uniforms.

"That's better." She grinned, satisfied, "Now hurry up, or we'll be late."

I quickly got ready and 20 minutes later, Delia and I got out of her volkswagen beetle at school. I groaned, as I glanced at my watch. I had 5 minutes to get to english class.

"So I'll see you later." I said to Delia hurridely before rushing off to class.

I was almost there, when I bumped into a wall.

I groaned rubbing my sore head, as I looked up. Oh wait. It wasn't a brick wall, even though I really wished it was. Standing there in all his glory was Tyler Parker. And he didn't look happpy. I had to admit, when I first came to this school, I had a mini crush on him. What? Don't blame me, he was hot and all. But later I found out that he was an asshole, and my crush quickly faded away.

I still remember the day quite clearly. So there was a cupcake stall at school, and I brought a couple of dollars from home to buy a few. I remembered feeling giddy, as I walked towards the stall. Melissa never let me have any junk food. If you ask me, junk food is a necessity, but then again, no one's askng me. As I had walked to the cupcake I found Tyler Parker buying the LAST cupcake. I was mad, I was furious, I wanted to kill. Needless to say, I began to hate him for the rest of eternity. What? Don't judge me, this is just the kind of person I am. Plus the cupcake looked so delicious. I pouted at the thought.

A voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Oi. Get out of my way loser." Tyler said rolling his eyes, confirming my suspiscions about him being an asshole even more.

"Excuse me?" I glared at him, looking into his eyes. The old me would've just cried and ran away. Fortunately, this Alyssa doesn't take shits from anybody. Not even Tyler Parker.

"Are you deaf? I said get out of my way loser." He repeated nonchantly.

I can't believe I used to have a crush on this guy.

Enraged, I started coming up with 100 bloodiest ways to murder him.

Hey, just because I wasn't suicidal anymore, doesn't mean I won't murder assholes.

"You know what?" I announced.

"What?" He said looking confused, he obviously expected me to ignore him, and scurry away.

"If I would like to hear from an asshole, I would fart." I shot, feeling proud of myself.

BURNN. My inner voice says.

"I'm sorry, I don't talk to animals." He muttered shooting daggers.

I faked a yawn. "Keep talking, I always yawn when I'm interested."

"Suck my dick." He scowled at me, giving me the finger.

I grinned. "Get one first."

He glowered, probably resisting the urge to punch me. "Go to hell."

"Sure, only to get away from you." I beamed, as he walked away.

It was a talent. I could get people all riled up in a matter of seconds.

As I walked towards my class, I realised I was late.

Shit.

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