Metanoia

five.

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five.

I felt myself gasping for air. I felt like I was suffocating; like I was drowning. My breaths came in quick short desperate pants, and I felt tears dripping out of the brim of my eyelids.

Maybe she is still alive? Maybe she didn't die? No, no, no. I tried to convince myself of the possibility that she was alive, while the rational side shook it off.

Nevertheless, I continued to run with my face full of tears, ignoring the constant che in my legs attempting to catch the figure. I tried to grab her, to hold her and tell her how much I missed her and mum and dad. I couldn't, even though I could see it. As I blinked again, it was gone. It just disappeared, into nowhere.

My legs collapsed, giving in.

"Please, please come back! Where are you?" I cried desperately, hoping she would respond.

But she didn't.

Because dead people don't become alive again. The little voice inside my head reasoned.

I clawed violently at my face. But I couldn't feel anything. I felt numb.

Only when I finally felt the cool air brush against my bare arms, did I register I was in the garden.

I was still shaking as I tried to regulate my breathing.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

After repeating the process several times, I finally managed to calm down, my face still slightly hot with tears.

Suddenly, I felt a sigh, and a shuffle behind me.

"Faith?" I turned around so quickly, I almost twisted my foot.

When I saw that it wasn't my dead sister, I broke down into tears again.

The guy - Tyler, for a moment looked awkward, before quickly recovering, and giving me a look of reasurance, as I felt his arms envelope around my body. (A/N: This might seem to be quick paced, but trust me, there's a reason Tyler is doing this. It'll be revealed in the later chapters. Any theories yet, haha?)

His hug strangely comforted me, and I felt myself hugging him back.

"It's okay." He kept repeating, soothingly, over and over again.

"I thought I saw my dead sister." I blurted out. I don't what possesed me to do that, but I just did. I raised my hand to my mouth as I realised I said something I shouldn't have.

There was a reason I didn't want anyone except my friends knowing what had happened to me. Society puts on labels to people. And if word got out, I will forever be the "adopted girl" , or "the girl who lost her family".

A wave of understanding passed his eyes - no sympathy, "It's okay. Don't worry, you're strong."

I don't know why I thought this, but he looked as if he knew my story already.

"I'll take you home." He said giving me a small smile, as he led me out of the doors.

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When I arrived at home, I went straight to my bedroom, collapsing on my bed, to think things through. Tyler was comforting on the way home, and honestly, I was pretty grateful for his help. If he hadn't noticed me, I would probsbly sit be crying my eyes out. I felt embarassed that I had both hugged and cried in front of a stranger. But right now, I couldn't care less about that.

What did come to alert though, was that I had a panick attack. I hadn't had one for years; the last one I had was almost three years ago.

My panic attacks have been labaled by my doctor as severe. I had suffered post traumatic stress disorders, meaning I would always get flashbacks of the past, which also inflicts hallucinations. This would sometimes become too hard to bear, causing breathing difficulties. Since, I haven't gotten it for a long time, I stopped taking the prescriped anti-depressants.

And if you don't know, theway anti depressants would work, was once you popped a pill or two, you would start feeling happy - like you didn't have a care in the world. They worked kind of like drugs, in a way, I guess. (a/n: sorry if i described it wrong, i personally don't have any experience with them whatsoever)

But since my symptoms had improved, I had stopped going to the pharmacy to get my prescriptions. Without them though - I don't even want to get started on the last time I went somewhere without them, while I still had my symptoms.

I wondered if I should alert Jerry or Melissa? They already had enough on their shoulders, without me and my troubles. I had noticed that Melissa had started getting eyebags recently... Business hasn't been good.

Well it's just this once... It won't matter, right?

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