BTS Family - Family matters, NamJin

2.

Jins POV:

"Jiminie, please stop crying!" I pleaded on my knees. I was right before him, trying to calm my little boy down. But he was so into sobbing and shedding tears, that he didn't even hear me. "Hey Sweetie" seeing him like this, broke my heart. And it wasn't only him who was crying, no, my half a year old baby boy was also crying, because his big bro did.

It was really impressive how much influence Jimin had on the little one and it was unbelievable cute how much Kookie admired his hyung. But right now, it was horror. I had to go to work, and with both of them throwing a tantrum it was almost impossible. My hired babysitter seemed also really helpless.

He tried to convince Jimin with cookies and movies and whatnot but nothing was working. He clung to my leg, grabbing it tightly and burying his face into the fabric, drenching it in tears.

Dear Hye-Ri in heaven, please make this stop! I tried praying to my death wife, who was the reason for Jimin being so clingy and sensible. He missed his mother, and too small to understand fully what was going on, he was afraid that if he let me go, I would also leave him forever.

The half-year anniversary of her death was right around the corner, she died three weeks after giving birth to Jungkookie. And we all miss her.

The reason? Well, it was nothing like an car accident or cancer. No, she was ill, but not ill as having a curable disease with medicine. No, Hye-Ri was bulimic. She starved herself to death, and I, I couldn't help her. Ever since I have known her, she was a fragile kind of girl, always skinny and some kind of weak.

I discovered her illness short after our marriage. She never told me a single word about it. It just happened that I saw her vomiting after lunch, dinner and breakfast. Every single day.

Well, I convinced her to visit a doctor, and she was getting better. She really was. And then she stated she wanted a family. I was so happy when she told me with sparkling and bright eyes that she was pregnant for the first time.

At that time, I was super aware of her eating habits. But she did good. It was like this chapter in her life was finally over. She ate a lot in order to give birth to a healthy, happy baby, which Jimin was.

After the birth of my first son, she ate just normal and I was really looking forward to our daily family life. Now I know around that time, she was again back at vomiting, but she was good at hiding it from me.

As she told me about her second pregnancy, I was about to burst, I was so happy and so madly in love with her and our little family. Well, she pulled herself back together for Jungkookie and ate normal and all those stuff.

Then Kookie was born and after all those healthy, good years of eating normally, she had an extreme relapse. I noticed after she and Kookie got out of the hospital. She didn't eat, she was happy playing with the boys and telling Jimin how to care for his little brother, but never ate a single bit, when she did, soon after she was bent over the toilet vomiting her stomach out.

I pleaded and cursed, I tried everything. Well, I was so damn helpless and there were the little ones too. Jimin at that time, noticed that something wasn't right and cried the whole time.

I involved a doctor to help my beloved Hye-Ri, she was hospitalized and in therapy, but in the end, nobody could help her. She refused to eat. And one day, about a month after Jungkooks birth, I got a call that my Hye-Ri had died.

I was blaming myself everytime I thought of it. Every single minute in my damn life. But I hadn't much time to soak into self-hatred. There were two adorable little boys who needed their daddy more than ever. So here I am now.