BTS Family - Family matters, NamJin

40.

Namjoon's POV:

I was freaking out right now! Where was Hobi?! He wasn't in his room, he wasn't in Tae's room, nor in Jimin's , Jungkook's or Yoongi's.

I checked everywhere and I couldn't find my son, I found pancakes, though.

Pancakes, the rest of the kids were now devouring or smashing like Jungkookie.

The baby sat in his highchair, singing and making funny noises, tossing around his pancake in amusement, not bothering to eat the food but rather play with it.

This was the least of my problems.

My problem now was, that I lost one of my sons and I was near a panic attack.

Tears were gathering in the corner of my eyes and I felt suffocated. Where was my kid?!
I was such a bad parent! I shooed him away this morning and my Hobi didn't know the place yet.

What if he sneaked outside the house and got lost? Or kidnapped or run over by a truck?

Oh god! I had to find him!

I was about to flip a table and call the police.

I wanted my baby back. I wanted to excuse myself for my bad behavior and cuddle him until he couldn't breathe anymore.

He wasn't allowed to die or disappear like this!

I was the only one who was allowed to suffocate him with my big hugs.

Where is he?

I felt desperate and restless, my brain was running havoc, tumbling over itself, trying to think what to do, trying to think where he could hide, trying to not drown in my worries and overwhelming feelings.

I gulped hard. I couldn't let the other kids see. Because for sure Yoongi would worry like crazy and starting to search for his dear little brother like crazy and everywhere and that would only end up with him getting lost too. I knew that. I could tell it.

I couldn't bear to lose another son!

And where the heck was Jin? I needed him right now!

I needed a hug and his soft, smooth, convincing voice, promising me that we would find the tiny, happy troublemaker.

Heck! I searched everywhere, outside the garden, the garage, the trash bins, the washing machine, the drier, the kitchen, the bathtub, all kinds of cupboards, under every bed, behind the sofa and the television, literally everywhere and I couldn't find him. I even looked in all of the suitcases!

Almost choking to hold back the tears, I ordered Yoongi to look after the three kids and yell and come to me if something was happening, I went to wake up Jin.

I needed him right now and I thought I was allowed to be selfish.

Gulping, now the tears dripping down, I went upstairs. It was okay. The kids couldn't see me and I didn't care about Jin.

He would be the same if he lost Jungkook or Jimin.

He would be a total mess.

I was allowed to cry.

Sniffling and trying to suppress a loud sob, I stood in front of his door. I didn't bother to knock and just entered.

Just to find him lying curled up on his bed, the sun illuminating his beautiful features, letting him seem angelic once again.

I didn't know, what I did do to deserve him and even the matchmakers, even if Cupid himself made a mistake with setting us up together, I would refuse to ever let him go.