Compulsive

Chapter 7

She couldn't sleep, yet again. How annoying.

Erza was in her bed, fast asleep, snores filling the room; lately, her habits of screaming and crying all night long had been improving. Lucy was glad—her roommate needed the rest. Sleep put Erza in a good mood, and no one liked Erza grumpy.

Still, Lucy lay awake, eyes on the popcorn ceiling. She glared at it, desperately searching for some kind of pattern within the bumpy, rough patches; in one spot, she found something that slightly resembled a smiley face.

What time was it? Four in the morning? Had to be. Too bad she couldn't tell. No clocks, no windows.

Before Lucy even had a second of opportunity to complain—silently, of course—about the facility not having goddamn windows in the dorm rooms, there was a hasty knock on the door. Lucy's body froze, unsure. Who the hell could that be? A few second later, another knock, short and quiet.

More seconds passed before a voice hissed through the door. "Lucy! Lucy, open the door. Jesus."

Lucy frowned, muscles relaxing once she recognized the voice. She puttered over towards the door and quietly pulled it open, careful not to wake Erza. "Natsu? What're you—"

He clapped his hands around her mouth. "Shh, brat."

Lucy made a face—she hardly considered herself a brat—but silenced herself anyways. Her left eyebrow rose as she patiently waited for an explanation.

Honestly, he looked like shit—much worse than he had the night they'd been on the roof, and that was only three days ago. His skin was almost grey, and he looked as though he might snap if she so much as poked him. The scarf he usually wore—must've snuck it into the facility—was tied around his head; his pink hair poked out erratically.

"Come with me."

"Is everything okay?" Lucy asked, voice muffled by his hand.

Natsu nodded, dragging her into the hall; she pulled her dorm room shut at the last second. He gripped her arm tightly, but was careful not to hurt her. Lucy noticed that he completely ignored the blistering scars beneath his touch. "Yeah, yeah. Let's go."

He tugged her up the stairs until they'd bursted onto the rooftop. Blankets—extra, this time—were already tucked into little nests, side by side, for them to sit in. Natsu sat Lucy down, spent an extra second tucking her in and covering her up, and then sat down beside her.

Lucy looked at him with anticipation. "What is it? What's wrong?"

The rather ill looking boy gave her a glance. "Nothin'. Just wanted some company."

Her expression crumbled into a frown. "Why were we in such a hurry?"

He shrugged. "I got sick of waiting for you to show up, so I came to get you."

"Waiting for me?"

"Yeah—I was thinkin', you should just come up here every night." He paused; Lucy noted how much he looked like a child when he thought. "Instead of keeping me waiting."

Lucy made a face. "Keep you waiting? I didn't know I was supposed to come!"

"Well, didn't you have fun last time?"

"Yeah, but—"

"Then why wouldn't you think you should come back?"

"Because!" She cried. "This was your place, I just intruded last time."

Natsu shook his head, wrinkling his nose. "I had a great time. I need you to keep me company."

Lucy's cheeks blushed, and she ducked her head, looking at the blankets overlapping her legs. "You did?"

He seemed confused. "'Course."

She nodded. "Then, I'll come."

"Every night?"

"Every night."

He beamed; it looked wrong on his breakable, sick looking body. "Great."

They sat in silence for a moment after that, as they both settled into their cozy little nests; Natsu wrapped the blankets around his shoulders, shivering. Lucy peered over at him, getting worried—he looked terrible.

"Natsu, is everything okay?"

Natsu glanced over at the blonde, and for a split second, his expression crumbled down into one of absolute pain. It was only visible for a fragment of a second before he recomposed himself, huffed out a deep breath, and flashed her a smile. The smile was slightly broken and kind of sad. "Yeah. Just got lonely up here."

In that moment, Lucy suddenly became very aware that everything was definitely not okay and that he didn't just haul her up here because he needed company. She was suddenly acutely aware that something was very wrong with him and he brought her up here as a distraction, something to keep him busy, something to keep him occupied. A distraction for what, she wasn't sure. But that's why she was here.

Because he wanted her to be what kept the pain away.

Lucy had never been important to anybody. She'd never been anyone's best friend, she'd never been anyone's girlfriend, she'd never been anyone's anything. This meant something to her. Sure, Natsu could've picked anybody to be his distraction from whatever it was that was hurting him so much, but he happened to pick her. She felt kind of...well, honoured.

Her stomach felt fuzzy, and her cheeks flushed a deep, bloody red at the thought. Someone wanted her.

Natsu made a face. "You feeling okay?"

Lucy nodded, sort of at a loss for words. She knew he hadn't confirmed that her beliefs were true, but just by that awful expression she'd caught on his face seconds before, she knew she was right. He was hurting, and he didn't want to be alone, so he'd gotten Lucy. God, why did that make her feel so fucking amazing?

"Yes," Lucy sputtered out in response. "I feel...good."

For the first time since she'd met the boy, he appeared to be a little shy. Maybe it was because, even though he hadn't explicitly said it, he understood what he'd just communicated, too. Maybe it was because he knew he'd sorta kinda just told Lucy what he needed from her. And it was intimate, in a way. "That's...good."

She couldn't really tell, but she thought maybe he was blushing a little.

Lucy decided to give up looking at the stars, instead choosing to look at Natsu. Subtly, of course. She couldn't dare live with herself if he caught her in the act.

A couple of minutes later, Natsu muttered, "Quit staring, freak."

Lucy's face went purple, and she mechanically shifted to look back at the sky. She could've died of embarrassment. Natsu just laughed.

They stayed there until sunrise began, and then packed up the blankets, same as the first day. Again, he walked her to her dorm room.

"Thanks for coming," Natsu mumbled, looking at his feet again. "Sorry if I woke you."

Lucy grinned. "You didn't, don't worry."

The boy peeked up at her from under his scarf. "See you tomorrow, right?" His expression was odd—almost as if he was afraid she would forget about going to the roof every night.

The fact that he looked scared made her heart nearly burst. "Of course," Lucy responded, voice soft. "I promise."

He raised an eyebrow. "Pinky promise?" He stuck his little finger out.

Lucy laughed, wrapped her finger around his. "Pinky promise."

"Good." He seemed pleased.

"Goodnight, Natsu," Lucy whispered, heading back into her dorm room. "See you tomorrow."

The boy gave her a wave as he headed down the corridor. "Seeya, Luce!"

She closed the door behind her, letting out a heavy breath as she leaned against the wooden frame. Her heart was hammering; her stomach felt fuzzy.

She didn't sleep the rest of the night.