Compulsive

Chapter 20

It was early—too early for Natsu to be awake and completely aware.

Everyone was outside, milling around the entrance to the facility, awaiting the bus that was coming to pick them up; everyone was exhausted, yawning and trying to keep themselves awake while they waited. Everyone had bags slung over their shoulders, a strange excitement buzzing through their tired veins—they were going on vacation. Juvia had contacted the group and told them they were to be driven to the airport, where they would then board and head off towards the mystery destination. No one really had anything to pack, so their bags were filled with extra uniform t-shirts and long sleeves, just in case.

When Natsu made it to the entrance—he was the last of the group to arrive—the sky above was grey, dark and cloudy. The air was chilly; the snow on the ground had a fresh new layer from the night before. He was exhausted—hadn't slept for days, honestly—and was kind of hoping to sleep the entire drive to the airport and the flight to the beach.

But the second he saw Lucy, he knew he wasn't going to sleep at all.

She had her messenger bag slung across her chest, her uniform looking prim and proper; her hair was pulled up, tied back with a pretty pink ribbon. Her eyes were bright as she spoke to Erza, probably from the excitement of going somewhere unknown with her friends; she was smiling as she spoke to her friends, laughter radiating from the small circle.

Her eyes flickered to Natsu as he stepped out of the door, simply out of habit; for a split second, their eyes searched one another. Natsu's heart leaped in its chest. She looked so pretty today. But, after another millisecond, her eyes dropped, falling to the pavement and then trailing back to Erza. Her smile had faded. She didn't laugh along with the conversation anymore.

He'd hurt her, these past few days, ignoring her like this. At the time, it had been his only option: leave for a while so he didn't mess things up beyond repair. He never would've forgiven himself if he'd told her he loved her in some stupid, casual kind of way. She deserved better, and he intended to deliver.

Now that he had a plan, he felt better. He felt like he could talk to her without spilling the beans. Now that he had a strategy, a plan set forth, everything felt fine.

Except now, she wouldn't even smile at him. How the hell was he supposed to confess his love when she wouldn't give him a glance? Had he fucked this up before it had even started?

The bus came barrelling down the road leading up to the facility; the group began to chatter with excitement, everyone hitching their bags up into their arms, preparing to hop on the vehicle. It pulled up, and Juvia gave some speech about expected behaviour; everyone nodded and mumbled responses, too excited to care. The group all stumbled onto the bus; Natsu followed up last.

He entered the bus, then glanced down the little aisle; everyone had shuffled towards the back, taken up those seats. There were several seats left completely empty at the front of the bus. Everyone had paired up or was stretched across a seat, leaving Natsu the odd one out.

His eyes flickered to Lucy, and she glanced back. Erza was sitting beside her, chatting to Gajeel in the side beside them. Natsu yearned to be there, to be the one sitting beside Lucy. And if he hadn't treated her like shit this entire week, he would've been sitting there. No one to blame but himself.

Lucy seemed aware that he wanted the seat; they communicated silently. Lucy's eyes fell to the floor yet again, away from Natsu, hurt and a little upset. Natsu tried to swallow the heaviness In his throat—it didn't work. He sat in an empty seat at the front of the bus.

This sucked.

The bus went off, jumping and bumping as it hit every lump in the road. Natsu tried to put his head back and sleep, but that sad look on Lucy's face plagued him. How could he have been so mean to her? Ignoring her, running away from her without any explanation? No wonder she thought he hated her.